Past Regrets

There are times I feel trapped, bogged down with responsibilities and obligations.

There are people I love who are depending on me. I can’t let them down. I can’t make a mistake.

We need an income to keep a roof over our head, food in our stomachs and clothing on our backs.

Courtesy of Creative Commons

Lately, I’ve been thinking about how much of my time is given to a corporation. How my life really isn’t my own. How my time is given in exchange for a paycheck.

Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for a good job. I’m not complaining.

I’m just facing where I’m at in life. Who knows, I may even be going through a midlife crisis.

I’ve been ruminating on past regrets. In that, I chose a steady income instead of pursuing my dream.

Granted, things could be worse (and they have been).

However, there are those whom are not afforded the ability to ruminate, because all they do is work to feed their kids, barely making ends meet.

So… in the grand scheme of things, I am considered blessed.

But right now, I’m not talking about my job, I’m talking about a dream.

My friend Andi Cumbo wrote a thought provoking blog post entitled “To Quit or Not to Quit” which sparked this post.

A long time ago, I quit acting and singing. Why? For the very same reason I mentioned above. A job. A steady paycheck.

I sold out and forfeited my dream for the illusion of security. I can’t express how bad of a decision that was.

Which is why I’m proactive in reminding my sons to pursue their dreams and do something they love.

If you do what you love, then you don’t mind working twelve hour days. You will be investing your time doing something you believe in and are called to do.

This goes beyond simply working to get a paycheck.

When you work a conventional job, there are no guarantees. You can be there today and gone tomorrow. You can be offered benefits one day and then it be taken away the next.

In this day and age, you can’t invest in a job or put all your eggs in one basket.

You need to invest in yourself and in your dream. Dreams come from God.

When you work toward a dream, it’s yours for keeps. No one can mess with it or take it away, unless you let them.

So yes, I live with regrets and admit I’ve made some pretty bad mistakes. But does that mean it’s over for me? Should I just give up, throw in the towel and call it a day?

No, I’ve already done that, and all for the wrong reasons I might add.

I’ve made some mistakes, so what, you’ve probably made some too. We all do. But should that mean it’s the end of the world?

This is not our final chapter in the big book called life.

I feel like God is giving me a second chance … so I’m priming up for 2013.

I may have given up in the past, but I’m not now. I’m going full steam ahead, no matter what.

Won’t you join me?

Do you believe your dream isn’t attainable? Do you feel hopeless and want to give up?

  • Thank you for this post! Thanks for the reminder that it is not too late to pursue my dreams. Praying for you in 2013!

    • Love you my dear friend. You have been one of my biggest supporters. I am so thankful for you.

  • Jane

    Wow! This is me. I have just acted on somethihg I needed to do – but the fall out is coming. I am hanging onto the promises of God that He was in the decision and no matter how high the mountain, He will climb it with me.

    Beautifully written.

    • Jane Anderson

      Funny. There is a picture of Jane – but it’s not me. Hope she doesn’t mind what I said.

    • Amen Jane. Thank you so much. I am praying with you.

  • I’m “priming up for 2013” WITH you, Pilar! Thank you for sharing this

    • Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you are joining me. 🙂

  • Maria Morgan

    Right there with you in 2013 Pilar! Thanks for encouraging us to pursue the dream God has given us!

    • Thank you. I’m glad you are joining me. God bless you!

  • annepeterson

    I’m with you, but I decided to start in 2012. There’s still some daylight left.:)

    • Ha ha ha, that’s great!! Thanks for your encouragement and support. 🙂

  • Pilar, what a powerful post. I feel that same tension too. Do you know what helps me the most? Realizing that providing for your loved ones shows REAL love and your job is not remotely your life. Sure there are MILLION things you’d rather be doing during a certain chunk of the day, but perhaps that longing feeling is an itch that needs to be scratched.

    Maybe NOW is the time to start acting or singing. You CAN do it if you reprioritize your free time. Sure, maybe that means writing less. Do what YOU WANT TO DO. And remember, each time in life has a different season. Maybe you can’t do as much now as you’d like. But that won’t ALWAYS be the case.

    • Thanks, Jim. I know you can relate. I actually want to write now. I feel the most comfortable in that genre. I just don’t want to allow those same things I battled in the past, which I still battle today, to get the best of me and have me stop pursuing my dream. Thanks for always encouraging me, you are a great friend. May the Lord bless you and your family, Jim.

  • Pamela Hodges

    I am joining you. Thank you for the reminder. Our past does not have to dictate our future.

    • Amen sister, that’s it! Our past doesn’t dictate our future. And God has the last word! Praise Him! I’m glad you are joining me. 🙂

  • What struck me was the sentence:”…….. I’m proactive in reminding my sons to pursue their dreams and do something they love.”
    As a generation we should champion this cause with our children, so that their futures will be about attaining satisfaction in a job that they enjoy and not just about getting a paycheck.

    • I totally agree. I have learned that harsh lesson firsthand, which is why I don’t want my children to repeat what I’ve done. Thanks for reading my post and commenting. 🙂

  • Woowoo! Great tone. Go girl. I like the ending a lot. And the line that really caught me is the line right after the first pic. I tried to cut and paste it. Its about how much time you spend working, that hits a nerve don’t it.

    • Yeah, it does my friend, the reality of it can sting sometimes. But, it serves as a good reminder to keep moving forward. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by, I really appreciate it. 🙂

  • a bit behind in commenting here, but great post, pilar! and i can totally relate. like, totally, totally. but i’m learning that the past is the past and it won’t change. but i can make different choices and change my present and future. and this year i definitely have started doing so. of course, i’m still broken and stumble constantly. but i just ask for grace from above and give myself a little, too, and try again. i’m excited for the new year – have lots planned to make it the best year of my life! blessings!

    • Thanks for reading my post, Tim. I love your comment. I’m so glad to have met you and connected with you. I’m grateful for our community, right? So awesome. Please visit again. 🙂

  • Natalie the Singingfool

    I love this. This is how I feel – I sell my time to a corporation for a paycheck. It hurts my soul every day. I steal moments to chase my dream. I have to believe it is attainable – I know I was meant to do this. I can only hope the same for you. 🙂 Good luck, friend!

    • Thanks, Natalie. This means so much to me, because I think you are an incredible writer. I truly pray you continue, please, don’t give up. We are going to do this thing, LOL! Thanks for dropping by. I hope you visit again. 🙂

  • I have been working on my dreams after years of being afraid to even have them. Now, I see my husband trapped in a crushing job for 10 years, unable to find a different one. This is a dream killer and I thank him for his sacrifice for his family. He is solid. And I pray, that God would spark a dream for him once again

    • I will pray for him with you. I’m slowly coming out of my shell as well. I can relate. 🙂

  • Jeanne

    A little late comment as I just read this post that rings high and clear. It is really coming to a head with me regarding “the Job” and enduring all the stress from the bullies at work in order to sustain the necessities of living. Still struggling on how to figure out the solution for myself. I admire your tenacity and dedication to your job. I know writing is your outlet and you write beautifully with great honesty and on topics that touches a lot of people.

    • Jeanne, it is so nice to see your comments. You also write beautifully and from the heart too. I am saddened to read that your job continues to bully you. It is very hard to perform a job when others around you are misusing their position and are abusing you. I have been bullied. Bullies continue to bully because they are under the false assumption that there are no repercussions for their abuse. I will be praying for you.