Tag Archives: Trust
Good Riddance 2017…
I don’t know about you, but this year was probably the most difficult one for me. I won’t get into the details, but suffice it to say, it was hard beyond words.
To be honest, I am a bit apprehensive about 2018.
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But, even though it was a tough year, there was still a lot to be thankful for. And three things come to mind: faith, family and friends.
Faith…
“Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.” (Romans 5:1-5)
I drew closer to God this year. I believe it was the hardship that brought me closer to Him. Which reminds me of this verse…
“That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death.” (Philippians 3:10)
Our faith grows not when everything goes right or our way, but through suffering. Pain, loss, suffering helps us grow and mature as Christians. Pain certainly doesn’t feel good, but sometimes it is necessary for us to see things clearly and change our perspective and priorities in life.
Family
“…but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.” (Joshua 24:15)
One of the things I am most grateful for is my family and that we are serving the Lord together. I am also grateful for my family in Christ, the few close sisters who have stood by me and prayed for me.
Friends
“There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.” (Proverbs 18:24 NLT)
“A man of too many friends comes to ruin, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” (Proverbs 18:24 NASB)
I have been blessed to know many people in my life, and to call them friends. However, this year has taught me who my real friends are.
First and foremost, it is Jesus Christ. Second, my husband, who has had a million excuses to leave, but chose to stay. He is my example of strength, character, integrity and tenacity in the face of difficulties, obstacles and opposition. He is loyal, committed and a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
I realize that sometimes it takes falling and failing to distinguish truth from lies. To recognize who is actually for you, not just when the sun is shining, but when the sky is grey for days. The gift of being able to see beyond the smoke screens, fakes, phonies, and politically correct, the ones who only know how to smile in your face, and stab you in the back
I have had plenty of those kinds of friends. More than my fair share. But I thank God for all of them, my dear frenemies, because they taught me so much. So many valuable and priceless lessons. They have no idea how much they’ve served me.
“As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result…” (Genesis 50:20 NASB)
When you are told so many lies… they begin to sound like the truth. Until the facade evaporates, and the ugly truth remains.
I’d rather know the hard truth than believe a bunch of lies. Those saccharine laced words, so sweet at first, leaving a nasty aftertaste. I thank God for delivering me from the web of deception, and for the pain I’ve endured at the hands of people I’ve cared about and loved, because I am no longer enslaved to them. I am free. Thank you, Jesus.
“So if the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed.” (John 8:36 NASB)
This is my prayer for you:
“That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man; That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God.
Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.” (Ephesians 3:16-21)
Happy New Year!
Posted in blogging, christianity, faith
Also tagged 2017, 2018, faith, Family, Friends, Jesus Christ, Lies, New Year, Truth
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What Is Love?
Yesterday I was having an impromptu discussion about love. It started out light and then morphed into something deeper.
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We went from discussing booty calls, to the value of women, not consisting of what’s between her legs. Which of course, I happen to agree with. But I am also aware of some realities. In that, I don’t see marriages lasting. Christian or otherwise.
I believe the cause of this is a number of factors. For one, people come into relationships with their baggage and issues. I mean, let’s face it, we all have issues. And if anyone tells you otherwise, they are lying.
How do these issues come about? The answer is childhood. Whether we choose to admit it or not, whatever we were exposed to as children is what we will mirror in our adult life.
Let’s take me for example. My earliest recollection was handing my parents each a piece of toilet paper. Tears were rolling down each of their faces. I must have been about 5 or 6 years old. I remember the longing of wanting to help them feel better.
Truth be told, all they did was fight, every day, for years. This was my introduction to relationships and marriage.
I remember sitting with my friends in high school. We were eating lunch and they were talking about how they wanted to get married and have children. I was the only one who didn’t want that. All I knew was that marriage equaled misery and unhappiness.
Since then, I’ve been in several romantic relationships and married twice. In retrospect, I think it would have been best for me not to get married at all.
Reason being, if you don’t work on your issues, you will either attract the wrong person or mess up a good one.
I can write a book on my relationships alone. The stuff I went through, would make your head spin. I don’t know how I’m standing today in my semi-right mind. But it must be the grace of God.
Yes, I’ve survived, but there are scars that tell the tale. You know the expression, “If I knew then, what I know now…” Well, I’m living this reality. If only I knew then, what I know now, I would have made different choices.
The damage of some choices are irreparable. As much as you would like for things to be different, or change what is, you can’t.
I’ve come to terms with the fact that based on my past and choices, I’m damaged. I am unable to truly love, and allow someone in. My trust level was destroyed years ago. I care and have compassion, but based on the damage I’ve experienced in my life, I’m incapable of truly loving anyone, except for my kids.
What are your thoughts on love, relationships and marriage? Has the affects of your childhood framed your relationships for good or bad?
Is Your Word Bond?
Since the start of the new year, I seem to be getting hit with a reoccurring theme.
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In that, some people use the words loyalty, friendship, and trust loosely. Too loosely, I might add.
I guess I’m old school when it comes to my word. What I say, I do. I am not the type of person to play games with people’s feelings. I don’t just tell people things for the sake of saying them. What you see, is what you get with me.
Ask anyone who knows me, and they’ll tell you straight up, I’m a real and loyal person, which makes me a loyal friend. But what I’m realizing, to my dismay, is that not everyone is like this.
My favorite motto is “Actions Speaks Louder Than Words”. This is something I live by.
I have learned early that if someone’s words does not match up with their actions, then you can’t trust them. Trust has to be earned, and if one’s not careful, it can be lost.
Back in the day, the original gangsters lived by a code and loyalty was everything. Nowadays, it’s almost instinct. I think social media has something to do with this.
There is a benefit in dealing with people face to face as opposed to social media. In dealing with people in person, you have the ability to detect where they are coming from and what their true intentions are. You can discern it through their body language or the inflection of their voice. But not so in social media, which why it’s such a slippery slope.
On social media, people can hide behind their keyboards, and paint images of what they would like you to believe. Whereas in person, you can’t do that.
Bottomline, the only way for you to know if someone is telling you the truth, is if their actions are lining up with their words. For example, if someone is promising you something one minute and then ignoring you the next, then you know it was just words. If there are no actions supporting what they told you, then you are wasting your time with this person.
Yes, it’s disappointing when this happens, but at the end of the day, it’s better know the truth, then be strung along and taken for a ride.
This is why I question everything. People don’t like it or feel comfortable with my questions. They say it’s too much. But I’m not going to take what someone tells at face value, especially if their actions are not supporting it. God gave me a brain and I intend to use it. I’m not going to accept “whatever”, especially if I don’t know the person.
When someone says one thing and then does another, that’s called mixed signals, which never promotes trust. It also does not allow for a foundation to be built for any relationship to grow, whether it be on a personal or professional level.
Truth is, your word is bond, and without it, you have nothing.
What do you think has happened to loyalty, trust and friendship today?
Posted in blogging
Also tagged Actions, Actions Speaks Louder Than Words, Deception, Friendships, Games, Lies, Loyalty, Relationships, Your Word Bond
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Precipice Of The Impossible
I am standing on a precipice of the impossible.
by Rafaelll90 in Manipulations
On the edge, ready to free fall into the unknown.
If you have been following my posts recently, you will know that I’ve been involved in advocating for someone who has been wrongfully convicted. I’m trying to help as best I can, but I am continually reminded of my own limitations.
This is probably the biggest test of faith I have ever experienced. This situation is like climbing the Mt. Everest. It seems impossible!
Having faith and believing God has taken on a whole other meaning.
As doubt invades my consciousness like a cancer and a war wages in my heart, I feel impotent to make a difference.
I don’t have money, I don’t have connections, I don’t have prestige.
However, I am not the first, nor will I be the last, to help bring awareness or attention to a gross injustice.
Patience is not one of my virtues. I want everything yesterday. This type of thinking comes with living and working in a fast paced city. A city where everything is dependent upon results.
Day in and day out, I’m not seeing any results. It’s beyond discouraging.
I’ll be honest, sometimes I want to throw in the towel and give up. But then I think, what if tomorrow is the day things change?
I am an ordinary servant dependent upon an extraordinary God, who has the ability to change the impossible to possible in an instant.
I would love nothing more than to see God move on this man’s behalf.
But, what I’m learning the hard way is that it’s not going to happen when I want it to. It will happen in His timing, not mine.
I am not in control, He is. I don’t call the shots, He does.
I am a co-laborer with God. (I Corinthians 3:9) I just need to do my part and leave the rest to Him.
I’m desperate to prove this man’s innocence and have other’s see what I see. However, only God has the power to move on man’s hearts, open blind eyes and deaf ears.
It is “not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit says the Lord Almighty.” (Zechariah 4:6)
As I stand on a precipice of the impossible, I may not see the results, but God sees everything. He knows this man is innocent better than I do and in His perfect timing, justice will prevail.
It’s just a matter of time. When it does happen, may the Lord receive all the glory, honor and praise.
Have you ever faced something that was bigger than you? A situation that seemed impossible? Did God come through for you?
Posted in Uncategorized
Also tagged Corruption, faith, Innocence, Jesus, miracles, Prisoner's Rights, Wrongfully Convicted
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He Loves To Hear Our Hearts
Life is busy. We are constantly running and trying keep up with the clock.
At end of the day, we are exhausted. We head to sleep, only to wake up and do it all over again the next day.
When do we stop and spend time with God?
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The other day I was speaking to a close friend of mine. I asked her this question, “How do we develop intimacy with God?”
My friend is in full time ministry and has been following the Lord consistently for many years.
She responded, “By spending time with Him. It’s in having a relationship with Him, that intimacy grows.”
It’s the same as any earthly relationship. If we don’t spend time with a friend or spouse, we won’t get to know them.
The same applies to our Heavenly Father. If we don’t stop and spend time with Him, we won’t get to know Him.
There was a time I tried to build my faith by reading books, attending every church service, going to conferences and serving in ministry.
I thought by “doing” all these things, my faith and intimacy would somehow grow.
I was wrong.
It is not by our might or power, it is by His Spirit. It is God who changes us from the inside out by spending time and getting to know Him.
It’s by setting aside time every day to read His Word, pray and wait on Him.
When we develop this discipline, we begin to grow in intimacy with Him.
It isn’t by our doing, works or ministry that changes us or develops our faith. It is God who does the work in our hearts through the Holy Spirit.
He doesn’t want us doing anything for Him, He wants us and our time.
He loves to hear our hearts.
Has He been hearing from yours lately?
Posted in blogging, christianity, faith, prayer, worship
Also tagged faith, Intimacy with God
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When Jesus Isn’t Enough
What is this constant gnawing of discontent and dissatisfaction? What is it that propels me to search and chase after other gods? Why do I continue with cheap substitutes to fill the void? Why isn’t Jesus enough?
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The internal battle wages. Desperate for Jesus one minute, like Judas the next.
Why can’t I serve the One who gave His very life?
Sometimes I think I’m ever learning, and never coming to the knowledge of the truth. (2 Timothy 3:7)
I tremble at the thought of having a form of godliness but denying its power. (2 Timothy 3:5)
Those are scary verses and so is this blog post written by a wise, young woman, the daughter of missionary friends in Guatemala.
*****
I have been wrestling, after a difficult discussion with a black Hebrew Israelite the other day.
I realized where I’m at and how ill-equipped I am.
I examined myself and came to the conclusion, Jesus isn’t enough.
For if He was enough, I wouldn’t have other affections competing with Him.
These subtle or obvious distractions taking me away from my first love.
Why does this happen?
Am I being deceived or believing a lie?
Why isn’t Jesus enough?
When I say I love Him, what does that mean?
I seem to read the Bible out of rote.
When I read, it’s like a science fiction movie.
The Bible seems outlandish and unreal.
I believe in God, I believe in Jesus, I don’t doubt this.
However, if I’m honest, I have trouble believing everything I read. I guess because it seems so out there.
I make myself read every day. I pray and ask the Lord to open my spiritual eyes of understanding. To make it real and personal, but it hasn’t happened yet.
So when I encountered that man the other day, I wasn’t prepared or able to do what the Jehovah Witnesses did.
It even goes deeper than this, there are times I have a crisis of faith, and don’t know what I believe anymore.
No, I won’t walk away from Jesus again, I’ve done that too many times, by exploring other religions which got me nowhere.
Sadly though, I live as if Jesus isn’t enough. For I am still trying to fill the void, with everything else but Him.
It comes down to this, I force myself to read the Bible every day, but I don’t get it, neither do I enjoy it.
Yes, on occasion, I will come across a verse that speaks to me, but there isn’t some profound revelation that changes my life.
I still have the same habits, the same fears, the same distrust, the same lack of faith; nothing’s changed. I’ve just learned to hide it or mask it better.
The Word does not become alive to me, which is why I’ve chased after other gods.
My story is a long one.
I’ve been in this struggle for years now which is probably why I’ve walked away so many times.
If I don’t love the Word, then how can I call myself a Christian?
I love Jesus, I guess to the capacity I am able.
But, you can’t manufacture something you don’t have. Just like you can’t make yourself fall in love.
Love is more than a four letter word we say. I can say I love Jesus, but at the end of the day, what does that really mean?
How is my love for Him showing up in my every day life? When something unfair or unjust happens? When someone wrongs me? How I treat others?
The reason why I find the bible dull is due to my own lack of understanding resulting from a hard heart.
The Bible says God shall not be mocked. (Galatians 6:7)
He will not unravel, unlock or unleash His mysteries to just anyone.
Only those who seek Him like hidden treasure and put Him first above all else. (Matthew 13:44 and Matthew 6:33)
Do you struggle reading and understanding the Bible? Do you enjoy reading the Bible? What did you do to begin to enjoy it? How has reading the Bible changed your life?
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