Monthly Archives: August 2014
There seems to be an epidemic with failed marriages. It’s not only happening in secular circles, but also in Christian ones too.
I’m not a marriage expert. I only share things based on my own personal observation and experience.
This famous expression holds true, Know Thyself.
One of the reasons why marriages fail is because people rush, instead of taking their time and getting to know themselves first.
If you don’t know who you are, how can you possibly select the right person to spend the rest of your life with?
We bought into the lie Hollywood sold us, falling for an illusion or fantasy of romance and marriage.
We want to be swept off our feet and saved by another person. So, we convince ourselves that when we finally meet someone, we will be happy and fulfilled.
This couldn’t be further from the truth.
Only God can save us, not a person. People can’t give us what we don’t already have inside.
We are in such a rush to hook up with someone and get married that we wind up marrying the wrong person.
I understand that we don’t want to be alone. However, in our desperation, we rush and don’t take the time to analyze whether or not the person is right for us.
Feelings can be deceiving. Those warm and fuzzy feelings pass like gas.
God admonishes us to be patient and exercise wisdom in all things. Being desperate or rushing into anything, especially a marriage, is a huge mistake.
When we get caught up or obsessed in finding a partner, instead of learning who we are and what we want first, we can end up with the wrong person.
Rush, rush, rush… Hurry, hurry, hurry… leads to misery.
So many people are falling in and out of love these days, it’s mind boggling. However, I am realizing why that is, and it’s because people don’t know who they are.
When you don’t know who you are and what you want, your ability to choose the right person is hindered.
People don’t want to do the preliminary work necessary to be with someone or become the right person for their future partner.
We think “love” if the only thing we need. Don’t get me wrong, love is important. However, it’s not everything. There are other factors contingent upon sustaining a long term, healthy and fulfilling marriage.
It all comes down to knowing yourself. If you know and love yourself first, then you have a better chance of finding the right person to marry and not end up disappointed, disillusioned and ultimately, divorced.
Trust me, I’ve been at this for a while now. Do yourself a favor and readjust your focus. Instead of obsessing on marriage, get to know who you are and what you want first. You will save yourself a lot of grief, and hurt in the long run.
Have you taken the time necessary to get to know yourself or heal from your past, instead of focusing on finding someone and getting married?
Last week I was on vacation. We were able to get away for a few days, which was nice.
What I found interesting was that by changing my environment and routine, I was better able to connect with my creative side.
I still woke up early for writing practice and as I wrote, ideas flooded my consciousness. I realized I need to do this sort of thing on a regular basis. I need to unplug and change my environment to be able to get in touch with myself; to think, write and create.
One of the things that came to mind on my vacation was the concept of second chances.
I believe people deserve second chances. Yes, even those who may have done atrocities.
Look at Paul in the Bible, before Jesus appeared to him, he was killing His followers.
So what makes Paul different than anyone else in God’s eyes?
Humans are the only ones who seem to put limits on God’s forgiveness, grace and mercy.
We are the harshest critics and judge of others.
Why do Christians believe they can get on their high horse and be self righteous of others they “deem” as unforgivable?
Christians forget where they came from. They get cleaned up and then they begin noticing the dirt on others. All the while oblivious to how dirty they were before God pulled them out of the mire.
Excuse me, but what right do we have to judge those who are in prison for instance?
As Christians, we shouldn’t be uttering under our breaths how they deserve everything they get or how they must of done something bad to be where they are in the first place.
We mock, we criticize and we judge. We act as if we are better, and have attained some high moral standard which allows us the right to point our fingers at others.
We read our bibles, pray, attend church and tithe, yet, we are not Christ like in the least.
We preach a good game, and mastered Christianese. However, we are so far from the heart of God and loving the outcasts of society.
We look down at and snub the homeless, the drug addicts, alcoholics and prostitutes. We look at those who are in prison like they’re lower than animals.
This grieves me. I see Christians all around me convinced they are living out the Bible. Meanwhile they can’t even control their tongues as they pour out their unrestrained and thoughtless criticism on others around them.
Their attitudes are far from what it means to love others as Christ does.
And we wonder why there are so many Christian marriages failing today.
This sums up the equation: Christians + Church = Hypocrites.
I want to assure my readers that I love Jesus. However, I don’t love religion or judgmental and religious people.
My vision of God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit is much greater than the limited and legalistic Christians who I see a lot of nowadays. I have no interest in mixing with them. I’ll pray for them, but I’m not playing religion. I’m also done pretending, it’s not for me. I’d rather walk this walk alone than be fake or phony.
I’m not the type to preach at people or tell people what I think they should or shouldn’t be doing. That’s not me. I will be the first to admit I have not arrived and am a work in progress. I refuse to walk around high and mighty, like I have my stuff together and have all the answers, because I don’t.
Nor will I look down my nose at anyone, not those selling their bodies, not homosexuals, not criminals, not murderers, not drug addicts or drug dealers, or alcoholics.
God loves everyone. He loves the sinner, but hates the sin. And guess what? We are all sinners, even those who have been saved by grace. We still contend with a sin nature, even after we get saved.
What I’m saying is there is no one better than the next guy. We are all the same in God’s eyes.
I know it’s a hard pill for some Christians to swallow, but it’s the truth. The reason why some have a hard time grasping this truth is because they feel the need to be superior or important.
God loves the humble and lowly.
Yes, I love Jesus, because Jesus is the only one who loves us in a way, no human is able to emulate. His love, compassion and forgiveness is all encompassing and far from our limited reach.
We want to put Jesus in a box and project what we think His love should be. All we’ve managed to accomplish is forming and following a god of our own warped understanding.
God is greater than anything we can come up with. Our vision is clouded to see Him as He truly is.
Jesus is loving and invites everyone, especially the outcasts and rejects of society.
He says, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28
Mahatma Gandhi said it best — ‘I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.’ Truer words were never spoken.
Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
I am standing on a precipice of the impossible.
On the edge, ready to free fall into the unknown.
If you have been following my posts recently, you will know that I’ve been involved in advocating for someone who has been wrongfully convicted. I’m trying to help as best I can, but I am continually reminded of my own limitations.
This is probably the biggest test of faith I have ever experienced. This situation is like climbing the Mt. Everest. It seems impossible!
Having faith and believing God has taken on a whole other meaning.
As doubt invades my consciousness like a cancer and a war wages in my heart, I feel impotent to make a difference.
I don’t have money, I don’t have connections, I don’t have prestige.
However, I am not the first, nor will I be the last, to help bring awareness or attention to a gross injustice.
Patience is not one of my virtues. I want everything yesterday. This type of thinking comes with living and working in a fast paced city. A city where everything is dependent upon results.
Day in and day out, I’m not seeing any results. It’s beyond discouraging.
I’ll be honest, sometimes I want to throw in the towel and give up. But then I think, what if tomorrow is the day things change?
I am an ordinary servant dependent upon an extraordinary God, who has the ability to change the impossible to possible in an instant.
I would love nothing more than to see God move on this man’s behalf.
But, what I’m learning the hard way is that it’s not going to happen when I want it to. It will happen in His timing, not mine.
I am not in control, He is. I don’t call the shots, He does.
I am a co-laborer with God. (I Corinthians 3:9) I just need to do my part and leave the rest to Him.
I’m desperate to prove this man’s innocence and have other’s see what I see. However, only God has the power to move on man’s hearts, open blind eyes and deaf ears.
It is “not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit says the Lord Almighty.” (Zechariah 4:6)
As I stand on a precipice of the impossible, I may not see the results, but God sees everything. He knows this man is innocent better than I do and in His perfect timing, justice will prevail.
It’s just a matter of time. When it does happen, may the Lord receive all the glory, honor and praise.
Have you ever faced something that was bigger than you? A situation that seemed impossible? Did God come through for you?