Monthly Archives: January 2015
It’s Ok To Be Different
I’ve been evaluating my life, my choices, and what lead me to where I am today. I’ve recently come to the conclusion that many of my choices were poor ones. Especially when it came to relationships.
There seems to be a constant theme of being misunderstood and the tendency to blame myself for it.
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However, what I’ve discovered is that there has been way too many times in my life I’ve assumed responsibility for things that had nothing to do with me.
The burden of being “different” carried a stigma throughout my life. I have walked around thinking I was the worst person on earth based on other people’s words and opinions.
For reasons unbeknownst to me, people misinterpret my pure intentions as having some underlying agenda. It appears that people can’t seem to figure me out. They can’t grasp that I’m actually a real and genuine person, who loves to give and does not expect anything in return.
Unfortunately, there are those, for whatever reason, perhaps it’s their background or what they’ve been exposed to in their life, that often misconstrue my genuine intentions. They are unable to see me for who I am. They project whatever it is they’ve gone through with other people on to me. They are unable to see my heart, and value as a human being. Their inner filter is tainted by their own negative experiences, that they are unable to see properly.
Since when did being different, unique, real, genuine or good become a crime?
For those of you reading this, I’m not fake. I am who I say I am. I am a real and genuine person. I don’t do things for others expecting anything in return. There is no underlying or hidden agenda with me. What you see, is what you get.
It’s a sad commentary at this stage of my life, I still feel the need to explain myself.
This is the reason why I’ve gotten so selective in whom I allow in my inner circle. I have learned that you have to choose wisely, because not everyone has your best interest in mind. Nor is everyone going to be able to value and appreciate who you are. Some people lack vision based on their own hangups which has nothing to do with you.
It’s important to choose your associations carefully. If you are around people who constantly bring you down, criticize or judge you, talk behind your back, create unnecessary drama, and falsely accuse you, it’s best to keep it moving. There is no reason to be around people who will not encourage or bring out the best in you.
Don’t waste your time, energy and precious life on anyone who doesn’t value, accept and appreciate you. It’s better to have one true and good friend, than many who smile in your face and stab you in your back. This includes family too.
Have you been misunderstood or falsely accused in your life? How did you handle it?
Tropical Illusions by John Bowens
ISBN-13: 9780985330309
Publisher: Step Ya Game Up
Publication date: 4/20/2012
Pages: 264
Price: $15.00
Purchase: Amazon | BN
Description
Tasia and Jeff are in a monogamous relationship and they share a bond befitting that of a fairy tale. Misfortune befalls them when two things happen. First, Jeff is seduced by a stripper named Tropical, and what begins as a protected sexual escapade ends as a harsh reality when Jeff learns that the condom broke during intercourse.
Next, Jeff is accused of murder, and he finds himself trapped in an unforgiving system, figuratively and sometimes literally, fighting for his life.
The drama unfolds when Jeff is diagnosed with HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, and he’s forced to break this life changing news to the love of his life. Unfortunately, Tasia has no understanding. Instead of getting tested, she automatically assumes that she’s infected with the deadly disease. Out of hatred and anger, Tasia concludes that all men are dogs…and she vows to share her newly acquired fortune with as many men as possible.
Review
It’s been a while since I have reviewed a book, but Tropical Illusions by John Bowens was one I could not pass up. I have to be honest and say, that I wasn’t sure if I was going to like this book. I read the description and was on the fence about wanting to read anything about HIV or AIDs. However, I’m so glad I did, because Tropical Illusions taught me a lot.
I believe this story is vital and needs to get into hands of the youth. Tropical Illusions articulated a variety of life lessons, the greatest one being, the dire and fatal consequence of engaging in unprotected sex.
Let me tell you, if you or anyone you know is having unprotected sex, this book will scare the living daylights out of you. I can assure that after you read Tropical Illusions, you won’t have unprotected sex again.
Tropical Illusions was written as fiction, however, it felt real to me. It is the type of book that you can’t put down. You want to keep reading to find out what will happen next. The characters were palatable, the story was raw and explosive. Bowens did an excellent job as I was able to visualize and feel everything as if I was there.
I highly recommend Tropical Illusions, as it has an important and life saving message. I believe it needs to be read by as many people as possible, especially the youth.
After being sentenced to 19 years to be served in federal prison, John Bowens utilized his time by furthering his education. During his incarceration he lost a friend to HIV/AIDS which prompted him to begin writing. He was born and raised in NYC but currently resides in Charlotte, NC where he is an advocate encouraging others to join the fight against HIV and AIDS as well as the fight against illiteracy.
Free Your Mind
Happy New Year! I started my new year with a bang. I posted a question on social media and little did I know it was going to spark such contraversy.
Courtesy of Creative Commons
One thing I’ve learned through the years is to keep an open mind. If not, you will always be stuck in your own way of thinking and never know the truth.
Lately, there has been so much controversy and it’s been spilling into everything and causing division. It certainly wasn’t my intention to cause more. I was only asking a question and unfortunately, it spiraled into something else.
Which provoked me to write this:
It seems we all have different life experiences and truths. White people have their truths based on their own life experiences. But so do Blacks and Latinos. I am white, but by the grace of God, I am able to go outside of it and listen to others who do not share in my experiences. I allow myself to learn and hear other people’s points of view and experiences. I am not rigid, nor do not walk around thinking or acting like I know it all either. Because I do not. I have not walked a mile in another person’s shoes to know what life is like for them. We must try to keep an open mind in life.
People seem to translate everything into an “us versus them” mentality. But this shouldn’t be, because it’s a much broader and deeper issue than that.
We are all going to have different views and opinions. Some will be based on life experiences, and others on education. But either way, it will be different. Which is why we must free our minds and allow ourselves to step out of our comfort zones and understand other people’s reality.
For instance, a white person’s experience in life is going to be way different than Black’s or Latinos. White people tend to mention Blacks and Latinos use the “race card” too much. But I beg to differ. As they truly live a different experience than white people. White people don’t know anything about this because they have never experienced it for themselves.
The reason why I know about it, is because I am fortunate to have many Black and Latino friends. I’ll even take it a step further, I married into a Black and Latino family. So I’m privy to a lot of things that ordinary white people are not aware of.
I try my best to communicate, impart and share information to educate and open the minds up of those who refuse to see beyond the scope of their own understanding or experience.
No, I do no subscribe to the fact that all cops are bad. However, I’m also not walking around believing that they are all good either. The fact of the matter is, there are a multitude of corrupt cops. Some people have a hard time believing this and get defensive. But if they would only stop and do some research, they will see this truth for themselves.
The fact is we live in a fallen world. Human beings are susceptible to various temptations. There are no perfect people walking around who are exempt from committing crimes or acts of corruption. The Bible says, we have a sin nature and it’s very easy to fall prey to things. Which is why I’m a big advocate for not judging people.
My hope is that we can respectfully agree to disagree, and try to keep an open mind in life. My life is not going to be like someone else’s life or vice versa.
For instance, people love to judge drug dealers, making them all out to be the scum of the earth and the cause of why society is the way it is. Again, if they do their research, they will understand that our government is involved in allowing drugs into this country. Drug dealers are not putting a gun to anyone’s head to purchase or consume it. So, to put the entire responsibility on drug dealers is wrong.
Again, I beseech you to keep an open mind. Don’t believe the media or everything you read. Do your research and find out the truth for yourself. Yes, the truth may disappoint you, but wouldn’t you rather know the truth, than believe a lie?
Please don’t be afraid to step outside your comfort zone to understand another person’s truth, experience and reality.
Are you willing to keep an open mind, step outside of yourself and not subscribe to the herd mentality?
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