Author Interview: Novelist Blacc Topp

Every now and then, you come across someone who is unique and special. I have had the pleasure of discovering this talented and creative author a few months ago. I began reading his first book, The Hustle Chronicles and was hooked ever since. I can’t get enough of his writing. I devoured all of his books.

Besides being an amazing and gifted writer, he is one of the hardest workers I know. When you read what his typical day looks like, you will respect his grind. It is an honor to introduce to you, Novelist Blacc Topp.

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1) Tell us a little bit about yourself? Where did you grow up? What was your childhood like?

My name is Blacc Topp and I grew up on the south side of Dallas Texas in a neighborhood called Dixon Circle. My childhood was ideal until my father lost his job at Boeing Aircraft and that’s when things got rough. We went from a three bedroom two story house to living in the back of a laundromat bathing from a mop sink.

2) Were you always a reader? What kind of books did you read?

I started really losing myself in books when I was about 8 years old. I started out reading the newspaper with my father, helping him to sound out words. He only had a third grade education so we were learning together, you know? My first real book treat was the Fat Albert and the Gang collection that my father bought for me at a yard sale.

3) Can you remember when you first knew you wanted to be a writer?

Not really. I don’t think I ever really thought about it until I started penning it. My mother had dropped a book and I kind of got bitten by that bug but, never pursued it.

4) Was there a major life changing event that catapulted you to write?

After my mother passed, I was doing some digging and found some things that made me want to put it on paper. There were literally hundreds of letters that I’d written to her over the course of my incarceration and also journals from my teenaged years.

5) Were there any writers you read who influenced you and why?

I don’t think that any writers really influenced me. I think I admired some writer’s work but, not enough to influence my style one way or another.

6) What are some of your favorite authors and books?

Whoreson by Donald Goines, Pimp The Story of My Life by Iceberg Slim, The Falconhurst series by Kyle Onstott, almost anything by Stephen King, Sydney Sheldon and Walter Moseley. The list goes on and on.

7) Do you have a favorite genre?

No. I just like good, tight, cohesive writing.

8) Who were your biggest influences in life?

My father probably influenced me more than anyone. As I stated before he only had a third grade education but, he was a genius. He could pull a motor apart and put it back together again. He would literally work from sun up to sun down trying to put us in a better position.

9) Did you have any teachers who encouraged you to write?

My 9th grade English teacher Mrs. Van Hooks always encouraged her students. She was a great teacher.

10) Did you always know you were a fiction writer?

Well, coming from a background in music, we wrote our songs with a sort of fictional flare. In a song, you only had four minutes to tell a story. In literature, you have 70,000 plus words, so it was a win win for me.

11) What does your typical day look like?

I’m out of bed by 4am, at the gym by 4:30am, work out until 6am, shower, on the clock at my job by 7am. I work there until 5:30pm. I’m back home by 6:30pm. I shower, kick it with my wife and kids until 8:30 or 9 when they go to bed and then I write from 9pm until midnight or 1am. All the while I am marketing and promoting for current and future projects. Go to sleep and then it’s back to the same routine again.

12) What is your writing process and practice?

I prefer to wait on my mojo. I see people write articles saying that the best way to become good or great is to write everyday no matter how you feel. To me that leads to fluff. If you write when you really have something to say then it’s effortless.

13) Do you prefer to write out your novels in longhand or by computer?

It depends. When I’m at home I prefer the computer but, when I’m at work I generally write in longhand and transfer it to the computer later.

14) Are you particular about the type of notebook and pen you use to write with?

Notebooks are either 1 subject spiral or legal pads. I only write with fine point felt tip pens though.

15) How long does it take for you to write a novel?

It really depends on the extent of the research that I have to put into a particular book. On any given day I log between 1,000 and 3,000 words. So if it was absolutely necessary I could bang out a full length novel in 60 days, but I never rush myself.

16) How do you come up with the ideas to write about in your books?

Most of the stories that I come up with are from personal experience or bits and pieces of characters milling around in my head.

17) When did you decide to write The Hustle Chronicles series?

The Hustle Chronicles came about from trying to escape the pain of losing my mother. I tried to think whether I had ever been a good son and I started writing the Chronicles as a way of recollecting.

18) How did Tainted and Tainted Too begin? Was it a character, or a particular image?

Tainted began by remembering what a friend from my neighborhood had gone through and Tainted Too was just a continuation of that story with my own twist on it.

19) How did Corporate Amerikkka come about?

Without going into specifics, I went through a similar situation a few years back. I decided against retaliating the way that I was expected to and decided to let the courts handle it. In Corporate Amerikkka, Tristan took it to another level you know? Showed the powers that be that violence only begets more violence.

20) Which books were your favorite to write?

All of them. I immensely enjoy the entire process of building characters and bringing them to life.

21) What project are you working on now?

I’m currently working on two projects simultaneously, the third installment to Tainted and the prequel to The Hustle Chronicles called Gage.

22) What do you believe constitutes good writing?

I think good writing isn’t mechanical you know? It’s organic, it flows naturally and you feel it. Good fleshed out characters in believable situations.

23) How does one become a good writer?

That’s a question that I don’t believe I’m qualified to answer. I actually think good writers are born not made.

24) What is your goal as a writer? What do you want to convey to your readers?

I want my readers to expect quality from me because they know that I’ll deliver. I want to be your favorite author’s favorite author. I want the name Blacc Topp to sit on the tongues and coffee tables of every reader in the United States.

25) Where do you see yourself in ten years?

In ten years I’ll be the most successful and sought after African American author in recent history.

26) I’ve read all of your books and can see them becoming movies? Is this something you would be interested in?

I write from the perspective of movies. Meaning if I can’t visualize a particular scene in my head I’ll scrap it. So I suppose I would really love to see my novels make it to the big screen.

27) Lastly, what advice would you give a novice writer?

Write until your fingers bleed, find a lane and stay in it, mind your own business, write from the gut and follow your heart. If you can’t read your own work and enjoy, then it’s possible that no one else will either. Go hard or go home and write on!!!

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Thank you for this wonderful interview, Novelist Blacc Topp. I look forward to reading more of your magnificent work.

Please be sure to order his books at www.novelistblacctopp.com. You can also follow Blacc Topp on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

 

Why Affairs Happen

You see it all around you, in commercials, advertisements, billboards, movies and books. Everyone is looking for love.

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We search here, there and everywhere for the “one”, the one who will complete us, and finish our sentences.

I am one of those people who searched for love her entire life, only to find myself in jacked up situations. Instead of finding love, I got a whole bunch of other stuff I didn’t want.

What is it that we long for? What is it that we want? This proverbial love we all desire, seems elusive and out of reach.

You would think that when you get married this tug or yearning would go away, but it doesn’t.

Why do you think romance novels do so well? Most of the readers are married women. This should tell you something.

You meet someone, you fall in love, you get married, you have children and then all of a sudden, you wake up to find… where did the love go?

I don’t know about you, but when I look back over the course of my life and the various relationships I’ve had, I see the same pattern repeat itself.

In the beginning, everything is fresh, new, and exciting. Slowly, but surely, the excitement dwindles down to nothing and you are left with the usual monotony.

This is when affairs happen. But, what people fail to realize is that affairs are never a solution, they only complicate matters, and destroy lives.

Think about it a minute… you are in a miserable marriage, you meet someone and connect with them, you start messing around to get what you think you need, only to find out that what you need doesn’t come packaged in a human being.

No, unfortunately, it doesn’t work like that. There is no quick fix solution in filling the void and emptiness you feel.

I’m not religious, so I won’t ever preach to you, but I can tell you this… God is the only one who can get into the crevices of our hearts and give us the love we long for.  No human being will ever be able to do it because we are broken and imperfect.

In the short term, you may think you are getting your needs met or your desires fulfilled, but in time, the illusion lifts and you see the truth for what it is. Affairs become routine and monotonous too, so instead of having one problem, you’ll have two.

So if you are contemplating a quick fix to your misery, do yourself a favor and think twice before indulging.

Have you ever contemplated having an affair? Please share your thoughts in the comment section below.

Be Original

This generation seems focused on being someone other than themselves. I don’t know if it’s movies, music, social media or all of the above. But people want to be someone they aren’t, instead of being original.

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Yes, I am aware of the fact that there is a risk involved in being “yourself”. But why would anyone want to be a carbon copy of someone else?

God created us in His own image. He knit us in our mother’s womb. He made us an original, not a duplicate. There is no other human being on earth like us. That’s powerful.

But, instead of basking in this truth, we try to emulate others.

I’m not going to lie, I’ve struggled with this in certain respects. In that, I was always different. So I struggled with wanting to fit in and be like everyone else, so I wouldn’t stand out.

However, now that I’m older, I see that God didn’t create me to fit in or be like everyone else. He made me different for a reason. He created me to be exactly the way I am, an original.

Artists don’t look at the world around them in the same way as others, which makes them creative. We have our own slant on things, which makes us unique.

There is beauty in uniqueness, and in not being like others. Originality and creativity are attractive qualities to possess. But it takes courage to allow ourselves to be who we truly are.

Think about it? What would it be like if every butterfly you saw looked exactly the same? Wouldn’t that be boring?

Well, the same goes for humans; variety makes life interesting and diverse.

We need to embrace ourselves, and even accept our imperfections, because even our imperfections are unique and original.

Part of living on earth is discovering who we are, what our divine calling, destiny and purpose is. So as we are in the discovery phase, we should allow ourselves to express our unique flair or signature in whatever we do.

We can’t look at what others are doing better than us or more successfully. We have to focus in on honing our own skills, gifts, talents, and all of which encompasses who we are. The discovery process won’t happen if we are too busy comparing ourselves to others around us.

Everyone has their own lane. Take the time to discover yours and be original.

Do you struggle with being you? Do you find yourself becoming discouraged because you compare yourself to others and how well they are doing in comparison to you?

 

The Stigma of Shame

I have been doing a study on shame. It’s been something I have been avoiding to delve into for quite some time. Why? Well, who really wants to start digging up old doo-doo.

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Shame is one of those things you would rather just hide, ignore or bury, than have to face or look at. Shame is much more pervasive than guilt.

The stigma of shame is something humanity struggles with, if some realize it or not. We all mask it differently. God forbid we feel naked or exposed… that will only bring about more feelings of shame.

Some people think it is guilt they are feeling or struggling with, when in actuality it is shame. Shame is deeper and stems from messages you were told as a child. Shame is connected with self loathing and disgust of one self.

Those who have suffered from sexual abuse, carry the stigma of shame in its most palatable form.

So what do we do once we know that shame is pretty much controlling and navigating our existence? Well, we delve right into the abyss and unravel its mysteries.

There is a passage of Scripture that I always identified with, the story of the man with a withered hand. (Mark 3:3) This man walked around hiding his hand, until Jesus who had compassion, healed him on the Sabbath. He told him to stretch forth his hand and he was instantly healed.

Sometimes we have to risk exposure in order to heal. Yes, it is humiliating at first, just as it was for the man with the shriveled hand. He had to expose it in front of everyone in the Synagogue. He had to demonstrate courage to overcome his shame and allow Jesus to heal him.

It’s sort of like the pus of an infection, if you keep covering it, it will only get worse. You have to expose and clean it, in order for it to heal. Same applies to the inner infection of shame.

If you struggle with shame, know that you aren’t alone. If you desire to heal, then you must be willing to risk and face the Goliath in your life. Once you do, you will experience freedom. This is something I’m striving for and want in my life.

Do you struggle from shame? When was  your earliest recollection?

Do You Feel Empty?

Are you thirsting for something more? Is there an ache in your soul? A restlessness? A sense of something missing?


I have read the Bible and there is much to be gleaned from it, but the one thing that always stands out for me is how Jesus treated women.

Like the Samaritan woman at the well, for instance. Jesus asked her for a drink of water. She responded “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?” (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.) Jesus didn’t allow social customs or barriers to stop him.

What comes after astounds me. Please read it for yourself:

Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again,  but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water so that I won’t get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water.”

He told her, “Go, call your husband and come back.”

“I have no husband,” she replied.

Jesus said to her, “You are right when you say you have no husband. The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true.” (John 4)

Jesus did not judge her. He did not criticize her. He did not throw anything in her face or use what He knew against her.

Here is another example, the woman caught in adultery.

At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them.  The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery.  In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.”  Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there.  Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”

 “No one, sir,” she said.

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.” (John 8)

Again, Jesus did not judge or condemn her. Time and time again, I see Jesus’ unfathomable love and compassion poured out to women.

It comforts me to know, that no matter how sinful, dirty, broken and bruised we are… we can always come to Him and He won’t reject us.

If we lived in this world long enough, we are broken in some way. We have a void. We are all chasing after something, thinking that it will somehow satisfy us or fill the emptiness in our hearts. But, it never does.

I’m not religious. I believe in Jesus. I believe He died for sinful me. I believe He loves me when I don’t even know how to love myself. My faith in Him is what has gotten me through every crazy storm in my life. If it wasn’t for His grace and unconditional love, I don’t know where I would be today.

I don’t have the answers, but this I know… nothing and no one in this life will satisfy your inner longings. You can chase for an entire lifetime, thinking success, money, fame, etc… will fill the emptiness. But only God has the ability to do that.

Do you feel like you have been chasing after things because you feel like something is missing in your life?

TAINTED by Novelist Blacc Topp

Paperback: 288 pages
Publisher: BlaccStarr Media Group
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1630683647
ISBN-13: 978-1630683641
Purchase: BlaccStar Media Group | Amazon

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Description

Monica cursed under her breath; she didn t like the fact that King had a hold on her body the way that he did. Their bodies had fit together as if they were made for each other….She had allowed herself to fall in love with a serial killer, a man with obvious mental problems, and if she didn t end the case soon, one of them would surely meet their demise at the hands of the other. Driven by the need to right the rape of her nine-year-old sister at the hands of drug lords, Monica Deitrich for a decade trained to work in law enforcement. Hired by the DEA, she receives her first assignment: Infiltrate and bring down King Kochese, a ruthless killer who controls the Texas drug trade. She soon finds her job is not so simple. Never mind the danger of working undercover the simple fact is that King Kochese is a virile, complicated man who she quickly falls for.

Review

I read Novelist Blacc Topp’s first book The Hustle Chronicles and absolutely loved it. But TAINTED though, wow!

As I’ve previously mentioned, I discovered this author recently, and his talent far surpasses any urban author I have read.

You know when you come across a writer that just has it. Well, Novelist Blacc Topp is that kind of writer. You can’t pigeon hole him. He is in a league of his own. He demonstrates versatility and range as a writer. He is not your every day, ordinary, or mundane writer.

His writing is rich, vivid and realistic, that I made the mistake of reading TAINTED before going to sleep. His incredibly written novel left me in suspense and at the edge of my seat.

Novelist Blacc Topp’s words and images portrayed, pierced my psyche and soul. His creative genius, passion and love for words, permeated off of every page. Thus, the recipe for his great story telling ability, as if you are watching a movie. I was able to visualize and feel everything he penned. He is an extraordinary writer.

Please, if you haven’t read any works of Novelist Blacc Topp, do yourself a favor, and pick up TAINTED. His talent and gift surpasses the average writer out there today.

TAINTED is a great piece of literature which will leave you breathless, spell bound and wanting more.

 

Novelist Blacc Topp was born to a father that was a gangster turned preacher and a mother that was a singer, artist, and scholar. He was born into a family of preachers, pimps, prostitutes, drug dealers, dopefiends, and squares. Blacc Topp was raised on the streets of South Dallas, Texas. After the death of his father, feeling as though he had nowhere to turn he turned to the gang. The neighborhood gang, Dixon Circle 357um Gangsta Crips is where he would learn to become ruthless and unfeeling. Although he was deep in the gang and game, he continued his studies for fear that his mother would make him move to Florida.

By the age nineteen he had been shot three times and was on his way to the Texas Department of Corrections with a forty year prison sentence for distribution of narcotics. While inside he lost his youngest sister to the violence of drugs in 1996. After serving seven years, he was granted parole (mainly due to his mother’s efforts). He used the education that he obtained inside to land a job at a top engineering firm in Texas. He used his love of word play to push himself to local fame on the hip-hop scene in Texas and Florida but, he would lose his mother to cancer in 2006, only to lose his oldest sister to cancer in 2008 and he knew something had to change. He began to chronicle his life, his mishaps and his capers which gave birth to The Hustle Chronicles, his debut novel and soundtrack of the same name.

You can follow him at: Novelist Blacc Topp, Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

What Is Love?

Yesterday I was having an impromptu discussion about love. It started out light and then morphed into something deeper.

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We went from discussing booty calls, to the value of women, not consisting of what’s between her legs. Which of course, I happen to agree with. But I am also aware of some realities. In that, I don’t see marriages lasting. Christian or otherwise.

I believe the cause of this is a number of factors. For one, people come into relationships with their baggage and issues. I mean, let’s face it, we all have issues. And if anyone tells you otherwise, they are lying.

How do these issues come about? The answer is childhood. Whether we choose to admit it or not, whatever we were exposed to as children is what we will mirror in our adult life.

Let’s take me for example. My earliest recollection was handing my parents each a piece of toilet paper. Tears were rolling down each of their faces. I must have been about 5 or 6 years old. I remember the longing of wanting to help them feel better.

Truth be told, all they did was fight, every day, for years. This was my introduction to relationships and marriage.

I remember sitting with my friends in high school. We were eating lunch and they were talking about how they wanted to get married and have children. I was the only one who didn’t want that. All I knew was that marriage equaled misery and unhappiness.

Since then, I’ve been in several romantic relationships and married twice. In retrospect, I think it would have been best for me not to get married at all.

Reason being, if you don’t work on your issues, you will either attract the wrong person or mess up a good one.

I can write a book on my relationships alone. The stuff I went through, would make your head spin. I don’t know how I’m standing today in my semi-right mind. But it must be the grace of God.

Yes, I’ve survived, but there are scars that tell the tale. You know the expression, “If I knew then, what I know now…” Well, I’m living this reality. If only I knew then, what I know now, I would have made different choices.

The damage of some choices are irreparable. As much as you would like for things to be different, or change what is, you can’t.

I’ve come to terms with the fact that based on my past and choices, I’m damaged. I am unable to truly love, and allow someone in. My trust level was destroyed years ago. I care and have compassion, but based on the damage I’ve experienced in my life, I’m incapable of truly loving anyone, except for my kids.

What are your thoughts on love, relationships and marriage? Has the affects of your childhood framed your relationships for good or bad?

 

The Hustle Chronicles by Blacc Topp

Publisher: Blacc Star Media Group
ISBN-10: 1622093712
ISBN-13: 978-1622093717
Price: $10.00
Purchase: Blacc Star Media | Amazon

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Description

Julius Jr.s’ childhood is far less than perfect. He is torn between his mother and father who are going through a bitter divorce. His world is turned upside down when his father takes him from the comfort of the family home in Benton Harbor Michigan to the brutal streets of South Dallas Texas. When Julius Jr.s’ family is gruesomely murdered his life takes a dramatic turn. His mother Naje moves to Texas to care for her youngest son and finds herself drawn into a conspiracy that threatens to not only take the life of her youngest son but hers as well. Roll with Julius as he grows into the ultimate hustler and unrelenting killer that the gang-ridden streets of South Dallas often breeds, where pimping, drug dealing, treachery and betrayal go hand in hand.

Review

I happened upon Novelist Blacc Topp recently, and decided to explore his writing. The Hustle Chronicles is his debut novel which was released in 2012.

Little did I know, I would embark on a suspenseful ride of twists and turns. I immediately fell in love with his writing, the story and the characters. Especially, Julius Sr. and Julius Jr. Their bond was special and touching.

Novelist Blacc Topp does an extraordinary job of evoking emotion as well as conveying the inner workings of the mind and heart of his characters. His writing style is raw, sensual and thought provoking. He draws you in, and seduces you with his vivid and detailed descriptions. It’s as if he’s holding your hand and guiding you through an experience you won’t forget.

Blacc Topp is a creative genius and a master of words. His unique and original style has taken this genre to another level.

I highly recommend The Hustle Chronicles, and any book he pens. I promise, you won’t be disappointed.

Novelist Blacc Topp was born to a father that was a gangster turned preacher and a mother that was a singer, artist, and scholar. He was born into a family of preachers, pimps, prostitutes, drug drealers, dopefiends, and squares. Blacc Topp was raised on the streets of South Dallas, Texas. After the death of his father, feeling as though he had nowhere to turn he turned to the gang. The neighborhood gang, Dixon Circle 357um Gangsta Crips is where he would learn to become ruthless and unfeeling. Although he was deep in the gang and game, he continued his studies for fear that his mother would make him move to Florida.

By the age nineteen he had been shot three times and was on his way to the Texas Department of Corrections with a forty year prison sentence for distribution of narcotics. While inside he lost his youngest sister to the violence of drugs in 1996. After serving seven years, he was granted parole (mainly due to his mother’s efforts). He used the education that he obtained inside to land a job at a top engineering firm in Texas. He used his love of word play to push himself to local fame on the hip-hop scene in Texas and Florida but, he would lose his mother to cancer in 2006, only to lose his oldest sister to cancer in 2008 and he knew something had to change. He began to chronicle his life, his mishaps and his capers which gave birth to The Hustle Chronicles, his debut novel and soundtrack of the same name.

You can follow him at: Novelist Blacc Topp, Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

 

I Was Once A Muslim

I am not sure if you knew I was once a Muslim. Yeah, it’s a long story. Perhaps one day I’ll write about it. But for now, I want to focus on tolerance or the lack thereof.

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I went to Egypt, in June following 9/11. I was there for about three weeks. I went alone and rented a spacious loft, overlooking central Egypt.

I thought Bombay had a lot of traffic, but Egypt took it to another level.

I’ve always been a seeker of truth. I had been a Christian and decided to explore Islam. I was in contact with a young, intelligent Muslim zealot, who convinced me to come to Egypt. I’m always down for an adventure. So I booked a flight and head over there. I didn’t even know what the dude looked like. I know, I was crazy, but what else is new.

I arrived to a crowded, hot, and busy Cairo airport. I didn’t speak the language. I stood in what looked like the center of chaos. It was overwhelming. I had to pull myself together and figure things out quickly.

When I exited the airport, he was waiting there with his mother. The first thing I noticed was how tall he was. Egyptians are tall.

We introduced ourselves. I fell in love with his mother immediately. She was by far the sweetest woman on earth. They drove me to where I would be staying for the next three weeks. Then the fun began.

I was driven here and there, meeting with so many powerful leaders. Yeah, little ole me. I was able to ask all sorts of questions and I learned a lot. The one thing I loved was their sense of community. I never saw that in Christian circles. They all helped one another and they showed me nothing but love.

I wept when I had to return to New York City. I didn’t want to leave. For the first time in my life, I felt like I was part of something meaningful. They demonstrated unconditional love that I didn’t experience. They will always hold a dear and special place in my heart until the day I die.

When I returned to New York City, I wore a hijab, which resulted in my getting spit at, cursed at, and accused of being a suicide bomber.

For the short duration, I experienced what it is like to be a Muslim in America. In a city, which is a known for its tolerance, or so I thought. I learned otherwise.

I learned more than I thought I would ever learn. I was able to identify what Muslim women go through and what they continue to go through today.

It saddens me, between the racism and religious intolerance in this country, we haven’t gotten very far at all. Jesus said, we must love our neighbor. This means, even if they believe differently than you.

Have you been the victim of intolerance? What did you do? How did you handle it?

Chasing After Fantasies

What provokes us to look outside of ourselves to fill the void? Is it an unfulfilled longing? An insatiable need? Past hurts? Lost dreams? Lack of love or intimacy? What makes us chase after fantasies?

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Perhaps it’s something you want so badly, you are willing to risk everything for it? But when you do, you discover, it was only a fantasy.

Like a thirsty man walking in a hot desert who falsely sees water. He musters every last bit of energy he has and runs toward it, only to discover it was a mirage.

We are like this thirsty man, only that, we are not chasing after water. We are chasing after things, dreams, success, fame, money, power, sex, love, intimacy, you fill in the blank.

We are all on a pilgrimage sojourning this earth. Each trying to discover who and what they are. Some seek it through religion, others through relationships, or careers, etc…

But the bottomline is this, we are all seeking to fill that insatiable void… with things that will never truly satisfy us. It’s only a temporary bandaid to a deeper issue.

We run and chase after things, relationships, sex, whatever. And we somehow convince ourselves that this is the answer or solution to our problem. But it isn’t.

Some repeat the cycle, until they finally reach the conclusion they’ve had enough and that none of what they are doing, is actually bringing them any happiness or fulfillment, but pain.

This chasing isn’t beneficial, and only results in more loss, disappointment and hurt. When will we learn this isn’t the solution? How many mistakes will we need to make in order to stop the cycle and arrive at a proper conclusion?

I wish I had the answers, only God knows. I will say this though, every mistake we make is not meant to destroy us, but to teach us a lesson. However, when we keep repeating the same mistakes over again, we have to ask ourselves why? We need the courage to dig deep within ourselves and face the truth.

The way to overcome things in this life is by facing them; not by avoiding, escaping or chasing after fantasies. We need to keep it real with ourselves. If something is not right, instead of running from it, pray and ask God to show you the root cause of the issue, so you can break the cycle and heal.

If not, you will continue to chase after fantasies under the guise of believing it will bring you everything you’ve ever wanted or desired, when in actuality, it will only leave you feeling more empty.

Have you been chasing fantasies lately?

Is Your Word Bond?

Since the start of the new year, I seem to be getting hit with a reoccurring theme.

Courtesy of Creative Commons

In that, some people use the words loyalty, friendship, and trust loosely. Too loosely, I might add.

I guess I’m old school when it comes to my word. What I say, I do. I am not the type of person to play games with people’s feelings. I don’t just tell people things for the sake of saying them. What you see, is what you get with me.

Ask anyone who knows me, and they’ll tell you straight up, I’m a real and loyal person, which makes me a loyal friend. But what I’m realizing, to my dismay, is that not everyone is like this.

My favorite motto is “Actions Speaks Louder Than Words”. This is something I live by.

I have learned early that if someone’s words does not match up with their actions, then you can’t trust them. Trust has to be earned, and if one’s not careful, it can be lost.

Back in the day, the original gangsters lived by a code and loyalty was everything. Nowadays, it’s almost instinct. I think social media has something to do with this.

There is a benefit in dealing with people face to face as opposed to social media. In dealing with people in person, you have the ability to detect where they are coming from and what their true intentions are. You can discern it through their body language or the inflection of their voice. But not so in social media, which why it’s such a slippery slope.

On social media, people can hide behind their keyboards, and paint images of what they would like you to believe. Whereas in person, you can’t do that.

Bottomline, the only way for you to know if someone is telling you the truth, is if their actions are lining up with their words. For example, if someone is promising you something one minute and then ignoring you the next, then you know it was just words. If there are no actions supporting what they told you, then you are wasting your time with this person.

Yes, it’s disappointing when this happens, but at the end of the day, it’s better know the truth, then be strung along and taken for a ride.

This is why I question everything. People don’t like it or feel comfortable with my questions. They say it’s too much. But I’m not going to take what someone tells at face value, especially if their actions are not supporting it. God gave me a brain and I intend to use it. I’m not going to accept “whatever”, especially if I don’t know the person.

When someone says one thing and then does another, that’s called mixed signals, which never promotes trust. It also does not allow for a foundation to be built for any relationship to grow, whether it be on a personal or professional level.

Truth is, your word is bond, and without it, you have nothing.

What do you think has happened to loyalty, trust and friendship today?