Monthly Archives: May 2015
You see it all around you, in commercials, advertisements, billboards, movies and books. Everyone is looking for love.
We search here, there and everywhere for the “one”, the one who will complete us, and finish our sentences.
I am one of those people who searched for love her entire life, only to find myself in jacked up situations. Instead of finding love, I got a whole bunch of other stuff I didn’t want.
What is it that we long for? What is it that we want? This proverbial love we all desire, seems elusive and out of reach.
You would think that when you get married this tug or yearning would go away, but it doesn’t.
Why do you think romance novels do so well? Most of the readers are married women. This should tell you something.
You meet someone, you fall in love, you get married, you have children and then all of a sudden, you wake up to find… where did the love go?
I don’t know about you, but when I look back over the course of my life and the various relationships I’ve had, I see the same pattern repeat itself.
In the beginning, everything is fresh, new, and exciting. Slowly, but surely, the excitement dwindles down to nothing and you are left with the usual monotony.
This is when affairs happen. But, what people fail to realize is that affairs are never a solution, they only complicate matters, and destroy lives.
Think about it a minute… you are in a miserable marriage, you meet someone and connect with them, you start messing around to get what you think you need, only to find out that what you need doesn’t come packaged in a human being.
No, unfortunately, it doesn’t work like that. There is no quick fix solution in filling the void and emptiness you feel.
I’m not religious, so I won’t ever preach to you, but I can tell you this… God is the only one who can get into the crevices of our hearts and give us the love we long for. No human being will ever be able to do it because we are broken and imperfect.
In the short term, you may think you are getting your needs met or your desires fulfilled, but in time, the illusion lifts and you see the truth for what it is. Affairs become routine and monotonous too, so instead of having one problem, you’ll have two.
So if you are contemplating a quick fix to your misery, do yourself a favor and think twice before indulging.
Have you ever contemplated having an affair? Please share your thoughts in the comment section below.
This generation seems focused on being someone other than themselves. I don’t know if it’s movies, music, social media or all of the above. But people want to be someone they aren’t, instead of being original.
Yes, I am aware of the fact that there is a risk involved in being “yourself”. But why would anyone want to be a carbon copy of someone else?
God created us in His own image. He knit us in our mother’s womb. He made us an original, not a duplicate. There is no other human being on earth like us. That’s powerful.
But, instead of basking in this truth, we try to emulate others.
I’m not going to lie, I’ve struggled with this in certain respects. In that, I was always different. So I struggled with wanting to fit in and be like everyone else, so I wouldn’t stand out.
However, now that I’m older, I see that God didn’t create me to fit in or be like everyone else. He made me different for a reason. He created me to be exactly the way I am, an original.
Artists don’t look at the world around them in the same way as others, which makes them creative. We have our own slant on things, which makes us unique.
There is beauty in uniqueness, and in not being like others. Originality and creativity are attractive qualities to possess. But it takes courage to allow ourselves to be who we truly are.
Think about it? What would it be like if every butterfly you saw looked exactly the same? Wouldn’t that be boring?
Well, the same goes for humans; variety makes life interesting and diverse.
We need to embrace ourselves, and even accept our imperfections, because even our imperfections are unique and original.
Part of living on earth is discovering who we are, what our divine calling, destiny and purpose is. So as we are in the discovery phase, we should allow ourselves to express our unique flair or signature in whatever we do.
We can’t look at what others are doing better than us or more successfully. We have to focus in on honing our own skills, gifts, talents, and all of which encompasses who we are. The discovery process won’t happen if we are too busy comparing ourselves to others around us.
Everyone has their own lane. Take the time to discover yours and be original.
Do you struggle with being you? Do you find yourself becoming discouraged because you compare yourself to others and how well they are doing in comparison to you?
I have been doing a study on shame. It’s been something I have been avoiding to delve into for quite some time. Why? Well, who really wants to start digging up old doo-doo.
Shame is one of those things you would rather just hide, ignore or bury, than have to face or look at. Shame is much more pervasive than guilt.
The stigma of shame is something humanity struggles with, if some realize it or not. We all mask it differently. God forbid we feel naked or exposed… that will only bring about more feelings of shame.
Some people think it is guilt they are feeling or struggling with, when in actuality it is shame. Shame is deeper and stems from messages you were told as a child. Shame is connected with self loathing and disgust of one self.
Those who have suffered from sexual abuse, carry the stigma of shame in its most palatable form.
So what do we do once we know that shame is pretty much controlling and navigating our existence? Well, we delve right into the abyss and unravel its mysteries.
There is a passage of Scripture that I always identified with, the story of the man with a withered hand. (Mark 3:3) This man walked around hiding his hand, until Jesus who had compassion, healed him on the Sabbath. He told him to stretch forth his hand and he was instantly healed.
Sometimes we have to risk exposure in order to heal. Yes, it is humiliating at first, just as it was for the man with the shriveled hand. He had to expose it in front of everyone in the Synagogue. He had to demonstrate courage to overcome his shame and allow Jesus to heal him.
It’s sort of like the pus of an infection, if you keep covering it, it will only get worse. You have to expose and clean it, in order for it to heal. Same applies to the inner infection of shame.
If you struggle with shame, know that you aren’t alone. If you desire to heal, then you must be willing to risk and face the Goliath in your life. Once you do, you will experience freedom. This is something I’m striving for and want in my life.
Do you struggle from shame? When was your earliest recollection?