There was another death in the family… seems to be a theme lately. This time it was my husband’s younger cousin. A shock to say the least. Noone was expecting it. She wasn’t sick or anything. She left behind the most adorable five year old boy. Breaks my heart honestly.
Friday was the wake. I had off from work, so we all went as a family. I normally do not make it to these things.
We were running late. It seemed as if invisible forces were causing us from getting there, including the fierce wind pushing against us while walking to the funeral home.
We finally arrived and I immediately sensed the hopelessness hanging in the air like a thick cloud. We made our way up the stairs to an ocean of tears.
We walked through a maze of people until we came upon vacant seats in the back as my father in law began speaking. Suddenly, I felt a surge of energy propelling me out of my seat.
I told my husband, I need to go up front and pray for the people. He looked at me with a surprised expression.
I’m not one to speak in front of people, much less a group of strangers. I’m the type who likes to sit quietly in a corner, minding my own business. But, for whatever reason, on this particular day, God had other plans for me. I couldn’t resist the force propelling me to go.
I knew it was the Lord and I obeyed.
I walked up there and stood in front of all these people staring at me. I whispered to the Lord, what am I doing here? The Lord gently said just speak what I tell you.
I wasn’t going to say no to Him, not anymore. I learned my lesson years ago and won’t be making the same mistake twice.
If God wants me to speak, then I will speak, no matter what happens or how awkward I feel.
When it finally came time to open my mouth, all I remember were these words echoing back at me… Jesus is real!
Hallelujah! Yes, He is! I adore Him and magnify Him, despite myself. He can use a fool like me and be glorified. He is great and worthy of all praise. I love Him with every last breath in me. I want to please Him, because He is worthy. I know I have failed Him many times (and still do), but my heart’s desire is to do His will and make Him smile.
As a result of my obeying and saying yes to God, despite the apprehension I felt of what others might think of me, God showed up. God’s presence permeated that place… and then my husband joined me and began to speak too.
Then his cousin came forward, shared and sang a beautiful song. I was in awe at what the Lord was doing right before my eyes.
I learned a valuable lesson that day. Yes, I was afraid, intimidated, shaking in my pants, but with God I pressed through, listened and obeyed. Then I saw God move in power, encouraging others, touching hearts and giving them hope.
Where there was first hopelessness and despair, it was replaced with love, hope and encouragement by the power of the Holy Spirit.
It truly become a celebration, reflecting the spirit of our little cousin. Her presence will prevail in others she touched during her short time here on earth.
In conclusion, I wanted to share this beautiful song sung by Jenn Johnson called Come to Me. I hope it blesses you.