My Birthday Prayer

Courtesy of Creative Commons

You are probably wondering why I’m posting this photo on my birthday?  Well, that’s a very good question…

In 1995, I had the pleasure of hearing Heidi Baker speak at my church, Times Square Church. She was a visiting missionary and spoke about her experiences on the mission field in Mozambique.

I was a baby Christian at the time. I remember my heart swelling with longing and tears streaming down my face. I also remember falling on my knees at the altar and telling God I would go.

Umm, it’s now seventeen years later and I haven’t gone. I mean, I’ve gone on a short term mission trip to Guatemala and other adventures, but I didn’t give it all up for God like I prayed that day at the altar.

Lately, I have been bombarded by the same theme.

It started out while reading Mary DeMuth’s book, Everything. Then Jeff Goins’ book, Wrecked to Kingdom Journeys by Seth Barnes.

It doesn’t stop there.

Last week, I watched Half the Sky and thought my heart would explode.

Last, but not least, I began reading a book last night for a blog tour on October 22nd called Tears Water The Seeds of Hope by Kim Lews. Yet again, the same theme.

This coming Friday starts the 25th Anniversary and Missions Conference at Times Square Church. I am looking forward to catching up with all my missionary friends who are serving overseas. I was suppose to be one of them. But chose a different course.

God isn’t over with me yet. I believe He is directing me somewhere. I’m not a hundred percent clear on what it is yet. But, I have been so convicted and burdened lately. The more I read, the more I see, the more I want to help.

Today is my birthday. I am grateful to God for another birthday. He has been amazing and wonderful to me. He has blessed me and my family in tremendous ways. I am truly thankful.

But, somehow the words of Nicholas Kristof echos in my mind and heart…

“Talent is universal, opportunity is not.”

This statement haunts me because it is true.

Again, this same theme/concept jumps off the pages of Tears Water The Seeds of Hope, which is… What are we going to do with what God has given and blessed us with? Are we going to just sit on it, use it for ourselves or give back and help?

I yearn to make a difference in this world. I don’t enjoy seeing starving children, nor girls stuck selling themselves in the Red Light District.

It hurts that poverty is rampant and children are dying from starvation or from diarrhea because parents are so poor to afford antibiotics.

It is despairing that here are multitudes of people around the world who don’t have access to clean water.

I repent of ever complaining, especially when there are so many living in sordid conditions around the world.

So the question remains, what am I going to do about it? I can’t simply talk about it, but I must DO something about it.

I’m realizing if the Christian community chips in, we can make an enormous impact and difference in this world. Yes, the need is great, but if we each did our part, imagine the ripple effect it can have?

In my humble opinion, Christianity is more than going to church on Sunday, reading your bible and paying your tithes.

Christianity is this, “Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.” James 1:27

The verse the Lord keeps reminding me of again and again.

Today, my birthday prayer is to give and make a difference to those less fortunate than myself. I want to help the poor, needy and hungry. Those who have nothing, who need food, medicine and clean water.

I am not sure what this is going to look like, but this is my real ‘dream’. Yes, I want to write and use my gifts to the glory of God and bless others.  However, my biggest desire is to make a difference, not for myself, but for the children around the world.

Does this resonate with you? Do you have a burden for the poor? Do you want to use your gifts to make a difference in other people’s lives? I would love to hear your thoughts in the comment section below.

  • Jeanne

    Happy Birthday Pilar. Wishing you health and happiness. I also watched Half the Sky and was really impressed with the strong women who are sacrificing and risking their lives to help other women in such horrid circumstances stemming from society

    • It is truly amazing right, Jeanne? Did you see one of my heros, Somaly Mam. I met her, she is an absolute doll in real life too. So loving and wonderful. I want to go over there one day, but I fear my heart will break and I will be wrecked forever.

  • Beautiful, Pilar! yes. That’s why I love you. Your heart is so open to God’s will!

  • Beautiful birthday prayer, Pilar. Looking forward to reading Mary DeMuth’s new book!

  • You have a beautiful heart! I hope your day was incredible!

    • It’s been amazing because of friends like you. Love you, Heidi.

  • wow. beautiful and powerful.

    • Wow. What a compliment coming from you. Thank you so much, Jeff.

  • Oh Pilar how I feel your heart- as a part time Missionary to Brazil and having served in the poorest districts… yes, my heart cry resonates with yours! Lovins!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • I feel like getting on the next plane to India or Cambodia.

  • Amazing passion Pilar. Just keep listening and God will lead you where He wants you. For me, that’s been at a nonprofit here in Franklin, TN – never know what His plans are. Hope your day has been wonderful.

    • Thank you so much for commenting. I really want to hear from God. My day has been a beautiful blessing. Thank you for adding to it. 🙂

  • Beautiful birthday post! I sent you a birthday greeting on FB this morning, but wanted to chime in after reading this tonight. Your words so resonant with me!!! I have read/watched/experienced almost the exact set of books and films you mentioned in the past month. I read “Wrecked” on my kindle on the way home from Sonagachi in Kolkata. My copy of “Everything” is so marked up that I’ve ordered another one – and it hasn’t even launched yet!!! I’ve read “Half the Sky” but have only watched about half of it because it’s so much to digest. I’ve had the opportunity to travel to some remote places in the world – darkness, poverty, depravity, … they are all there. But they are also here – in the U.S. For me – for now – I’m promoting human trafficking awareness. To do anything on my own or to go somewhere would be in my own strength. Let’s rest in the knowledge that He is in control – and that we are willing to go wherever He leads in His timing. Praying that you will hear His voice for today and enjoy the journey.

    • Thank you for stopping by and commenting. I’m so happy to read that what I wrote resonated with you. I am praying, because I don’t want it to be about my ‘feelings’ as opposed to God’s will. I definitely have a burden for human trafficking and child sex slavery as well. I’m glad you are promoting awareness, in my own little way, I’m trying to as well. God bless you, Pam.

  • I thought I was called to be a missionary to India once, because the Holy Spirit had come upon me with intercessory weeping for India. But as it turned out, it was merely the first time that my intercessory gift had manifested.

    I even went to the U.S. Center for World Mission in Pasadena, CA and took a course on India. While there I learned about another course called Perspectives on the World Christian Movement; this course showed God’s long-term mission here on Earth.

    The U.S.C.W.M. was started by a former missionary who taught that for some people, it is better that they do not go but serve as recruiters to get several others to go. Which is better, one more, or several more?

    Of course today, there are many missionaries who are trained and waiting to go; they just need funding, such as with Gospel for Asia, which also educates children, trains women in skills that will help them earn a living, and so much more.

    With the internet, we have much more power to connect with others. I have seen many reports of people who started a charity to help people in Africa. It has become almost a right of passage for some young people to start their own charity; drill for water, supply water filters, etc.

    Yet, the need continues to grow because of growing population. So, I guess you have a lot of prayer ahead of you about how you can best meets needs.

    Thank God I have found my calling and am walking in it, which is never finished, it is like being on a walk around the world.

    • Michael, thank you so much for sharing. I loved what you wrote. I am really not sure what shape it will take. I know the dream isn’t for me but for others to benefit from. It is interesting that you mention intercessory weeping, that happens to me all the time. Sometimes even in my sleep and dreams. It’s as if my heart is going to explode out of my chest and the tears just fall and fall and don’t stop. I’m not depressed… this just comes on me out of nowhere actually. It can be a bit confusing and disconcerting at times. Sometimes it happens at work and I have to leave me desk and go into the bathroom and hope it lifts. I am familiar with Gospel for Asia, but I never heard of U.S.C.W.M. I will look them up. Thanks so much. I am happy you found your calling and walking in it. What a blessing.

      • Yes, the intercessory prayer, when it happens to me it is VERY severe, like my only child just got hit by a truck; and therefore it is a huge strain on the body and emotions. So I cannot endure it often, and I suspect it is only for the most important situations possible; life and death, souls, and such. If it were not so severe, I would not mind it so much, but because it is, I do not want it except went it is a must.

        You will let us know when you decide what the next move is for you in God, I am sure. I look forward to hearing about it.

        • This sounds like what happens to me. I guess this is why I identified and gravitated to Rev. David Wilkerson because he would preach on these heavy burdens and weeping. You do not hear many preaching or teaching on intercessory prayer. I also find ot to be too much when it happens. I have no control as to when it will hit but when it does it is excruciating. I am glad I am not alone. Thank you for taking the time to read my post and also respond. God bless you and your ministry.

  • Tara Rolstad

    Crazy to think that the best birthday gift you could give back to the One who gave you life is a broken heart, but I’m thinking He likes where it’s going.

    • Awww, thanks Tara. Thanks for stopping by too. 🙂

  • Love your heart, Pilar! More and more my prayer has been that God would break my heart once again for His dreams, not mine. Not that there’s anything wrong with my dreams, as some of them revolve serving the poor, the broken, the needy. But sometimes I focus so much on what I want that I forget to add Him to the equation.

    It’s truly a blessing to meet someone whose heart’s desire is to make a difference in the world, not for themselves but really for the ones who need it. My prayer today is that your birthday prayer will come true. That God will show you, step by step, where to walk, where to speak, who to give to, or who to ask for help along the way.

    • Oh my gosh, that’s exactly what I’ve been praying for. That I would follow His dream for me. Thank you Denise, thank you so much. I am so blessed to have met you and hope to meet you in person one day so I can give you a big hug friend. God bless you.

  • Sounds like God is tugging at your heart. He’s obviously placed a burden on your heart. So go for it! You can do it.

    • Yes Andrew, it truly seems as if God is tugging my heart and there is a burden for sure. Thank you so much for stopping by and commenting. I appreciate it.

    • Yes, the Lord is definitely tugging on my heart and I have a huge burden. I would be grateful if you would remember me in your prayers. God bless you and thank you for commenting. I appreciate it.