This is the scenario, you have this picture in your mind of what marriage is supposed to be like or some ideology of what you imagine it to be.
Frankly, Hollywood has done us a disservice with their unrealistic and irrational portrayals of pie in the sky and happily ever after.
The truth is marriage is hard work. It doesn’t come ready made like Cool Whip. Quite the contrary.
I’m sure you heard the first year is the hardest. Believe me, it is.
Two galaxies crashing together under one roof with all their quirks, baggage and what not.
Excuse me, but that ain’t easy.
Single people look at married couples with envy (or vice versa). Meanwhile, what they see is only a snap shot. A glimpse in time.
I feel like telling them to come on over when I’m having an intense fellowship session. I wonder if they’d envy me then?
They have no idea what takes place behind closed doors. Just because they’re smooching and smiling at the moment, doesn’t mean that’s the whole story.
People walk around pretending they have a perfect marriage. God forbid they should keep it real.
If you would have asked me back in the day if I loved being married, I would have looked at you like you were crazy.
For the record, no, I did not like, enjoy or think marriage was the greatest thing on earth. Quite the contrary, I wanted to run from it. It was too hard, hurt too much and it was not what I had signed up for.
The marriage is bliss thing is simply not true, so please don’t buy into the lie.
I can tell you this, I am not at the place I was before, where I simply hated being married with a passion. Where I wanted to be single again and do whatever the heck I wanted.
I had dreams, places to go and people to see. Marriage was cramping my style.
But like everything in life, you have to work at marriage. The word “work” is like the bubonic plague in our microwave society.
We want easy and quick. We don’t like to work or wait. We want everything yesterday.
The minute something doesn’t go our way, we want to run, hide, escape or… cheat.
Yes, I’ve done that too (in the past and not on my husband)… and let me tell you, cheating doesn’t solve your problems, it just adds to them. Instead of having one headache, you have two.
In the beginning, everything is great. It seems like a dream come true. You found your soul mate. Someone who completes your sentences. You feel alive, you feel beautiful, you feel like someone finally understands you… until… the bubble bursts, the nightmare begins and then… the jokes on you.
I know marriage is hard and it hurts, and you want it to give up or get out. You want the ideal situation. I understand all of this.
But marriage isn’t ‘presto magico’. Both parties have to work at it.
My suggestion for anyone at the brink of giving up, is to pray, ask for the Lord’s help and go to marriage counseling. Seriously, don’t underestimate counseling.
I’m thankful I hung in there and didn’t give up, because I can finally say… today is a new day.
Can you relate to this? Are you struggling in your marriage?