Tag Archives: Idolatry

Mad Faith

You’re probably wondering why am I using the word “mad” in connection to “faith”.

The word “mad” is commonly used in New York City. The urban dictionary defines “mad” as “extreme” or “a lot”.

I decided to connect the two; mad faith.

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I’ve been thinking madly about faith. What makes one have more faith than another, and that sort of thing.

It’s a mystery.

My desire has been ever increasing for my faith to be authentic.

In Christendom, I see many chasing after signs, wonders, miracles and manifestations, to the point of idolatry.

I’m not judging, but merely making an observation.

Truthfully, I used to be one of those people. I would chase after God here, there and everywhere.

I was seeking some kind of sign or experience and chasing after Him as if He couldn’t be found.

Frankly, I had it all wrong.

It sort of reminds me of Moses, when He went up to the mountain to get the Ten Commandments and left the people behind. In time, they all started making physical idols to worship instead of worshipping the God who miraculously parted the Red Sea and delivered them from the Egyptians.

What is it in us that inclines us to chase after other gods, instead of Him? Why are we restless and unsettled in our faith? Why must we chase after experiences? Why isn’t Jesus enough?

These are the questions which gnaw at me daily. I don’t have the answers. All I know is that I’ve already tried it all. I’ve traveled around the world in search of Him.

I am certain of this, it is not by signs and wonders that our faith increases, not in the least. I tell you this from personal experience. This doesn’t deepen our faith.

One thing that does though, is adversity.

My faith was strengthened, when I shook with fear, felt hopeless, thinking God wasn’t going to deliver me out of something, and He did.

To me, that’s miraculous. Not manifestations of angel feathers, gems or gold dust appearing at some gathering, where the attention turns to man and not God.

This is where the confusion begins. Everyone starts worshiping and idolizing the creation instead of the Creator. The credit for these so-called manifestations becomes attributed to man, instead of God. If something is going to take the focus or pull you away from God, you should run the other direction and don’t look back.

I’m sharing what I’ve gleaned from all of the mistakes I’ve made in my life.

I’m not claiming to be an expert or have it right. I’ll be the first to tell you I don’t have all the answers. All I know is my heart longs for the authentic. For the living God of this universe to be real and present in my life.

I don’t want my desire for signs, wonders, miracles and manifestations to take precedence over Him. He already gave and did it all by dying on the Cross for me, what more do I want?

I want to have mad faith which is undeniable and unshakeable. I want to experience more of His love and presence in my life. Not experiences, sensations, imitations or cheap substitutes. The real deal.

What about you?

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When Jesus Isn’t Enough

What is this constant gnawing of discontent and dissatisfaction? What is it that propels me to search and chase after other gods? Why do I continue with cheap substitutes to fill the void? Why isn’t Jesus enough?

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The internal battle wages. Desperate for Jesus one minute, like Judas the next.

Why can’t I serve the One who gave His very life?

Sometimes I think I’m ever learning, and never coming to the knowledge of the truth. (2 Timothy 3:7)

I tremble at the thought of having a form of godliness but denying its power. (2 Timothy 3:5)

Those are scary verses and so is this blog post written by a wise, young woman, the daughter of missionary friends in Guatemala.

*****

I have been wrestling, after a difficult discussion with a black Hebrew Israelite the other day.

I realized where I’m at and how ill-equipped I am.

I examined myself and came to the conclusion, Jesus isn’t enough.

For if He was enough, I wouldn’t have other affections competing with Him.

These subtle or obvious distractions taking me away from my first love.

Why does this happen?

Am I being deceived or believing a lie?

Why isn’t Jesus enough?

When I say I love Him, what does that mean?

I seem to read the Bible out of rote.

When I read, it’s like a science fiction movie.

The Bible seems outlandish and unreal.

I believe in God, I believe in Jesus, I don’t doubt this.

However, if I’m honest, I have trouble believing everything I read. I guess because it seems so out there.

I make myself read every day. I pray and ask the Lord to open my spiritual eyes of understanding. To make it real and personal, but it hasn’t happened yet.

So when I encountered that man the other day, I wasn’t prepared or able to do what the Jehovah Witnesses did.

It even goes deeper than this, there are times I have a crisis of faith, and don’t know what I believe anymore.

No, I won’t walk away from Jesus again, I’ve done that too many times, by exploring other religions which got me nowhere.

Sadly though, I live as if Jesus isn’t enough. For I am still trying to fill the void, with everything else but Him.

It comes down to this, I force myself to read the Bible every day, but I don’t get it, neither do I enjoy it.

Yes, on occasion, I will come across a verse that speaks to me, but there isn’t some profound revelation that changes my life.

I still have the same habits, the same fears, the same distrust, the same lack of faith; nothing’s changed. I’ve just learned to hide it or mask it better.

The Word does not become alive to me, which is why I’ve chased after other gods.

My story is a long one.

I’ve been in this struggle for years now which is probably why I’ve walked away so many times.

If I don’t love the Word, then how can I call myself a Christian?

I love Jesus, I guess to the capacity I am able.

But, you can’t manufacture something you don’t have. Just like you can’t make yourself fall in love.

Love is more than a four letter word we say. I can say I love Jesus, but at the end of the day, what does that really mean?

How is my love for Him showing up in my every day life? When something unfair or unjust happens? When someone wrongs me? How I treat others?

The reason why I find the bible dull is due to my own lack of understanding resulting from a hard heart.

The Bible says God shall not be mocked. (Galatians 6:7)

He will not unravel, unlock or unleash His mysteries to just anyone.

Only those who seek Him like hidden treasure and put Him first above all else. (Matthew 13:44 and Matthew 6:33)

Do you struggle reading and understanding the Bible? Do you enjoy reading the Bible? What did you do to begin to enjoy it? How has reading the Bible changed your life?

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