I can’t believe this year is almost over. I apologize for not blogging, but this year has been full of changes. I seem to be in the process of transition and walking in unfamiliar terrain.
You may have been wondering of my disappearance, and this is an attempt to fill you in.
From 2014 through 2015, I sort of fell away from my Christian faith. There were many reasons for it, which I won’t go into. But what I learned from the dabbling, experimenting, and indulging, is no matter who I was with, where I was, or what I was doing, God was with me.
If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.¹
At the time, I was making bad choices, which grieved the heart of God as well as the people that care about me. Unfortunately, I wasn’t thinking much about this while I was out there, painting the town, and being self-indulgent.
The lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life.²
I was a faithful, fervent and zealous Christian prior to falling away. So you could just imagine the amazement to all those who knew me.
Sin is like being on a raft that gradually drifts out to sea. One minute you are near the shore, and the next, you are in the middle of the ocean.
Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away.³
All the things I was choosing to do, weren’t the things God wanted me to do. I was refusing to die to self. I still didn’t want to surrender ALL to Jesus. It wasn’t His will be done, it was my will be done. Until everything came crashing down on January 2, 2016, and a light bulb went off. I suddenly realized what I was doing, and immediately repented.
Through it all, I learned how much God loves me, and how faithful He is. He never gave up on me, and kept pursuing me.
Today, I am grateful for all that God has done in my life. I am still in an unfamiliar terrain, a place of a transition, and in a process of restoration. But I can honestly say, that I’m at peace. Jesus saved me, rescued me, delivered me and set me free. Praise Him! No one could have done it, but Him.
If He did it for me, He can and will do it for you. He is no respecter of persons. He loves us, which is why He died for us. There is nothing you or I can do that will make Him ever stop loving us. He is a good, good Father.
²1 John 2:16