Tag Archives: Repentance

Life’s Unfamiliar Terrain

I can’t believe this year is almost over. I apologize for not blogging, but this year has been full of changes. I seem to be in the process of transition and walking in unfamiliar terrain.

Courtesy of Creative Commons

You may have been wondering of my disappearance, and this is an attempt to fill you in.

From 2014 through 2015, I sort of fell away from my Christian faith. There were many reasons for it, which I won’t go into. But what I learned from the dabbling, experimenting, and indulging, is no matter who I was with, where I was, or what I was doing, God was with me.

If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.¹

At the time, I was making bad choices, which grieved the heart of God as well as the people that care about me. Unfortunately, I wasn’t thinking much about this while I was out there, painting the town, and being self-indulgent.

The lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life.²

I was a faithful, fervent and zealous Christian prior to falling away. So you could just imagine the amazement to all those who knew me.

Sin is like being on a raft that gradually drifts out to sea.  One minute you are near the shore, and the next, you are in the middle of the ocean.

Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away.³

All the things I was choosing to do, weren’t the things God wanted me to do. I was refusing to die to self. I still didn’t want to surrender ALL to Jesus. It wasn’t His will be done, it was my will be done. Until everything came crashing down on January 2, 2016, and a light bulb went off. I suddenly realized what I was doing, and immediately repented.

Through it all, I learned how much God loves me, and how faithful He is. He never gave up on me, and kept pursuing me.

Today, I am grateful for all that God has done in my life. I am still in an unfamiliar terrain, a place of a transition, and in a process of restoration. But I can honestly say, that I’m at peace. Jesus saved me, rescued me, delivered me and set me free. Praise Him! No one could have done it, but Him.

If He did it for me, He can and will do it for you. He is no respecter of persons. He loves us, which is why He died for us. There is nothing you or I can do that will make Him ever stop loving us. He is a good, good Father.

¹Psalm 139:8
²1 John 2:16
³James 1:14

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Words Are Cheap

I’m sure you heard the expression, “Actions speak louder than words”. Well, it’s true, it does.

This is something I strongly believe in. I do not want to hear someone talk about their faith as much as I want to see it demonstrated in their lives.

What’s the point of spouting off Scriptures at someone, when you turn the corner and are living a double life?

I know about that because I used to be one of those people. I would quote bible verses and then later be rolling in the hay.

Such hypocrisy, I get repulsed just thinking about it.

I would say how much I loved Jesus one minute and be fornicating the next.

Obviously, I wasn’t going around advertising, but sadly, this is how I was living for years.

Perhaps I thought I was fooling those around me, but I wasn’t. I was living in sin and God was grieved.

And so was I. I was not happy living a double life, I was miserable. I knew I was living a compromised life and even though I tried to make justifications for it, I knew deep down it was wrong.

I felt guilty as charged and masked it by doing good works.

I would go to church faithfully, attend bible studies, read my bible, prayed, sang in the choir and even did missions work.

You see, I thought by “doing” these things it would justify my wrongs somehow.

Sin is sin. There is no justifying doing wrong with doing good works.

I wasn’t fooling God or anyone when I was living in sin. I was only hurting myself.

You see, God forgives us, but we still have to pay for the grave consequences of our wrong choices.

We reap what we sow. It’s the law of life, you just can’t get around it.

If we say we love Jesus, then we have to demonstrate it in our actions. In our lives. Not just what comes out of our mouths or in our “acts” of phony piety.

We just cheapen His grace and exploit His salvation.

If you are struggling as a Christian, then be honest about it. Don’t hide or perform or act.

Pray and ask the Lord to give you the strength to repent and turn away from it, whatever “it” is.

Just don’t accept it or believe God will forgive you anyway. Yes, He forgives and He loves you, but He’s also a just God… and I can tell you from my own personal experience that I paid a heavy price for “choosing” to live in sin.

I don’t know who I’m speaking to today, but for whatever reason, I was lead to write this just for you.

Jesus loves you and wants you to get it right. Whatever you are doing isn’t going to lead you to experience His peace, joy or love.

All you have to do is repent today and He will give you the strength to overcome whatever it is you are struggling with.

He did it for me and I know He will do it for you too.

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