Category Archives: blogging
Why I’m Not A Racist
I was born in the late 1960’s to European parents. My parents were pureblooded Spaniards, but for all intents and purposes, acted “white”.
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I don’t recall when it was exactly that I was made to feel different, but what I do remember were these comments:
“You must be from another planet.”
“Why do you always have to play with the black kids?
“Don’t you have any friends who are white?”
The crap hit the fan as a teenager, when I decided to date the brown and black boys against my parents will. My parents happen to be like many who grew up in an era of racial ignorance. They were a product of their environment. All I knew was that I didn’t think like they did nor did I want to.
One childhood memory stands out the most. I had a best friend. She was like a sister to me. Forty something years later, we are still friends. I remember hanging out in her house a lot. Her parents loved and embraced me like if I was their own.
Yet, my parents would not permit my friend to enter our house. My girlfriend eventually figured out why and I remembered feeling embarrassed and ashamed. I wanted to bury myself in a hole somewhere. It was the worst feeling in the world and I never forgot it.
I vowed to never have my kids feel this way. My home is open to any race, religion and creed. I am not raising them to be racists or discriminatory toward anyone.
Gratefully, when friends or family come to visit, they feel comfortable, as it should be.
I am not a racist. I love and embrace the African American community. Truthfully, the African American community has always treated me better that my own demographic.
I would love to live in a world where no racism, discrimination, ignorance or injustice existed. Unfortunately, that doesn’t to seem to be happening.
I can’t change people. The only thing I can do, as a white person, is bring awareness and not go along with the status quo, but challenge it.
With the recent current events, I’ve been inclined to speak up in favor of the black community. I am finding that many people want to shut me up. But I will never be silent when it comes to injustice.
Maybe I couldn’t do anything as a child to defend my best friend, but I can now as an adult. I will always speak up and stand up for what’s right. Regardless of what anyone else thinks, feels or says.
Do you go against the grain of what was expected of you regardless of what your family or friends think?
Love, Don’t Judge
I’ll be the first to admit, I am fed up with all the “holier than thou” Christians in this world, who point their fingers at everyone else around them. Do they know what it’s like to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes?
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Wouldn’t it be better to use their energy and focus on themselves?
I never understood why people gossip and talk negatively about other people behind their back.
Unfortunately, this happens in the Christian community as well, and it’s hypocrisy. Aren’t we suppose to be a light in this world and salt of the earth? (Matthew 5:13)
How is it possible that Christians are tearing each other down?
If you have been following me or my blog for any length of time, you know what I’m about.
I have never been the type to judge other people. I don’t care who they are or what they’ve done. I accept people for who they are. I respect the Word of God, and as I age, I realize I’m no one to point my finger at anyone. I do not care who they are.
The job of a true Christian is to love others.
There was a time I didn’t get this. I didn’t get the importance of loving others. But God in His grandiose, gracious, merciful way, was patient enough with me to allow me to learn this vital lesson.
The lesson happened this year, while I have been in the process of advocating for someone who was wrongfully convicted.
I’ve learned that passing judgement is reserved for God alone. Jesus didn’t die for perfect people. He died for flawed and broken people.
Christians are sinners saved by grace. How dare we think we are better than anyone else.
How can we point our fingers at anyone?
I don’t care if they are murderers, serial killers, rapists or pedophiles. The only way they are going to see Christ in us, is if we stop judging and start loving.
I know this may sound cliché, but love is the force that changes the hardest heart… not judgement. Judging others doesn’t lead to any change.
If you are a Christ follower, the only way to truly reach others for Christ is by loving them.
What do you think is stopping you from loving others?
Be The Church
In 1995, I had the pleasure of traveling to India. It was a dream come true for me. I had this romantic view of India, until I stepped off the plane and faced the reality of what real poverty looked like.
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When I arrived, I went from being ecstatic, to sad, to depressed in a matter of minutes.
I couldn’t believe my eyes. There was such a disparity between the poverty and opulence I saw. What especially broke my heart was seeing the children, dirty and living in shacks made out of garbage.
I stood there dumbfounded. I whispered under my breath, why God? Why must these children be so poor? They didn’t ask to be born into hunger and pain. Why such a cruel fate? My heart was faint.
I was despondent for the rest of my stay there. I walked around like a zombie, going through motions. It seemed like everywhere I turned, I saw poverty, hunger and suffering.
In India, I learned that no amount of religion or theology could reach the heart of the poor and hungry. The country is filled with people who believe in religion and worship a multitude of gods. Religion is part of their spiritual infrastructure.
But religion doesn’t give life, and it certainly isn’t the answer. Do you know what the answer is?
Love.
But not the sappy, sugar coated nonsense being propagated from the pulpits across America today. No.
Do you realize we are the Church? It’s about demonstrating love to those you wouldn’t necessarily show it to.
It’s about getting out of our comfort zone and doing things we wouldn’t normally do or going places we wouldn’t normally go.
I don’t refer to myself as a Christian anymore, because saying I’m a Christian holds a different connotation to whomever you are speaking to. Some people call themselves a Christian, but they are “religious”. They tithe and go to church regularly. But they never stop and love others.
How many Christians are bringing the church to the outcasts and rejected of society? The porn stars, strippers, murderers, gang bangers, drug addicts, drug dealers or satanists?
What Christian steps out of their safety net to be the church to those who are hated, rejected or despised? The poor, the suffering, and the sick? Those who are shunned, isolated and ignored by people.
I personally know Christians who don’t want to associate with those who have problems, who are depressed and walk around with dark clouds over their heads. They are afraid it might rub off on them.
But if we are the Church, we shouldn’t shun or avoid those who are suffering or struggling. How will they ever know that hope and love exists?
The true love that Jesus exemplified and demonstrated when He walked on this earth.
Folks, it’s much deeper than religion or religious acts that appease our own conscience. We must be willing to be the church and bring the love and compassion of Jesus to those who are broken, rejected and despised. If we don’t, who will?
In James 1:27, it says, “Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, to visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.” (KJV)
In Hebrews 13:3, it says, “Remember those in prison, as if you were there yourself. Remember also those being mistreated, as if you felt their pain in your own bodies.” (NLT)
This is not to boast, but even with my limited time between home, work, college, and writing, I’ve decided to use the gift God has blessed me with and write to those who are in prison. I also try to minister to families who have loved ones who are incarcerated. Families do the time along with their loved ones. It’s heartbreaking.
I’m not saying you need to do what I’m doing. All I’m saying is to be the church in whatever capacity God is calling you.
It’s no longer enough to preach or try to bring people to your Church. It’s time to be the hands and feet, and be the Church to the lost, the hopeless, the poor, the rejected, the shunned, the outcast, the incarcerated, the abused, and the sick.
Have you felt a burden to serve in your community, your neighbor or co-worker, but have been afraid to do so? Why not step out of your comfort zone and reach out? Why not take a step toward making a difference in someone else’s life? If we all do our part, we can bring hope to those who really need it.
The Comparison Game
Isn’t it hard not to compare yourself to other people? I’ve struggled with comparing myself to others. But it’s like comparing apples and oranges.
Courtesy of Creative Commons
God created us to be exactly as we are. Comparing ourselves to other people isn’t positive or productive. The bible calls it coveting.
We all seem to want what we “think” we don’t have. Woman are especially guilty of comparing themselves to other women.
We compare ourselves to those who have bigger butts, thicker legs, hour glass shapes, prettier faces, or nicer clothes.
This is why women are competitive. I read somewhere that women dress for other women, not for men.
Some women go as far as traveling to other countries to have plastic surgery done. It seems women are never satisfied with what they look like. They want to be someone other than who they are.
People like Lil Kim, Nikki Minaj and others have had extensive plastic surgery done on their bodies. I was grieved when I came across an old photo of Lil Kim. She was beautiful, yet, she bought into the lie that she wasn’t.
I am no different than any of these women. Especially now that I’ve hit middle age. I struggle with the temptation of wishing I was younger and comparing myself to other women I find more appealing, sexier, smarter, or successful.
Years ago, I fell for the peer pressure of what society deems as acceptable and unacceptable. What’s in or not. It was around the time I turned forty that I got fed up of living under other people’s scrutiny and opinions; with their long list of do’s and don’ts’. Who needs it?
It was around the same time I decided not to color my hair anymore. I can’t tell you how much resistance I got when I was transitioning over to grey. I’m so glad I didn’t succumb to it, because I love my silver grey hair.
What I discovered by those who follow the fashion police, is that I find them to be boring. All this emphasis on the external and what they look like, causes a lack the depth and substance to sustain my interest.
What’s the use of looking good on the outside, if you are bankrupt on the inside? You might have all the “external” attributes which the world worships and exploits, but what will happen to you on the inside or when you grow old? What will you do then?
I see all these movie stars that are well in their eighties and deformed by so many surgeries. I think that’s really sad, don’t you?
I personally don’t want to get caught up in the snare of comparing myself to others. I want to love and embrace who God created me to be.
Let’s do ourselves a favor and not get caught up in the comparison game. It is a perpetual trap that will only promise us misery and dissatisfaction.
Let’s break free from the shackles of bondage and focus on what God has blessed us with.
Do you struggle with comparing yourself to others? Do you want to be someone your not? Do you secretly envy other people?
Just Be Yourself
We are admonished and encouraged to be ourselves. Yet, a strange thing happens when we get involved in relationships.
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What was considered attractive, becomes unattractive. Where there were once praises, there are expletives. Those things which were adored, now are despised.
Why is that?
Suddenly, you are no longer able to be yourself, because being “yourself” is unacceptable.
You sit back and try to analyze where things went wrong and how you got to this point? Why you feel less than adequate? Where you don’t quite measure up.
Believe me, I know exactly where you are at and how you feel. You are not alone.
I’m here to tell you there is nothing wrong with you. You are fine just the way you are. Despite what anyone else around you says or thinks.
Think about it a minute…, what gives anyone the right to judge, criticize or put you down?
No one has the right to be allowed to make you feel like you are not good enough or don’t measure up. Who are they?
You shouldn’t have to feel stigmatized for being who you are, and who God created you to be.
You shouldn’t have to feel “less than” or “inadequate” based on someone else’s opinion of you.
No one reserves the right to put you down or make you feel like there is something wrong with you.
This is something I have been battling for years. I have been subjected to people wanting to change me.
I implore you to live your life. If someone doesn’t accept who you are, don’t deal with them. Life is too short to be wasting your precious time and energy trying to please others by becoming someone you are not.
God made you the way you are for a reason and if someone doesn’t resonate with who you are, you don’t need to be around them.
Just be yourself.
Is this something you struggle with? What are the ways in which you deal with it?
One Reason Why Marriages Fail
There seems to be an epidemic with failed marriages. It’s not only happening in secular circles, but also in Christian ones too.
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I’m not a marriage expert. I only share things based on my own personal observation and experience.
This famous expression holds true, Know Thyself.
One of the reasons why marriages fail is because people rush, instead of taking their time and getting to know themselves first.
If you don’t know who you are, how can you possibly select the right person to spend the rest of your life with?
We bought into the lie Hollywood sold us, falling for an illusion or fantasy of romance and marriage.
We want to be swept off our feet and saved by another person. So, we convince ourselves that when we finally meet someone, we will be happy and fulfilled.
This couldn’t be further from the truth.
Only God can save us, not a person. People can’t give us what we don’t already have inside.
We are in such a rush to hook up with someone and get married that we wind up marrying the wrong person.
I understand that we don’t want to be alone. However, in our desperation, we rush and don’t take the time to analyze whether or not the person is right for us.
Feelings can be deceiving. Those warm and fuzzy feelings pass like gas.
God admonishes us to be patient and exercise wisdom in all things. Being desperate or rushing into anything, especially a marriage, is a huge mistake.
When we get caught up or obsessed in finding a partner, instead of learning who we are and what we want first, we can end up with the wrong person.
Rush, rush, rush… Hurry, hurry, hurry… leads to misery.
So many people are falling in and out of love these days, it’s mind boggling. However, I am realizing why that is, and it’s because people don’t know who they are.
When you don’t know who you are and what you want, your ability to choose the right person is hindered.
People don’t want to do the preliminary work necessary to be with someone or become the right person for their future partner.
We think “love” if the only thing we need. Don’t get me wrong, love is important. However, it’s not everything. There are other factors contingent upon sustaining a long term, healthy and fulfilling marriage.
It all comes down to knowing yourself. If you know and love yourself first, then you have a better chance of finding the right person to marry and not end up disappointed, disillusioned and ultimately, divorced.
Trust me, I’ve been at this for a while now. Do yourself a favor and readjust your focus. Instead of obsessing on marriage, get to know who you are and what you want first. You will save yourself a lot of grief, and hurt in the long run.
Have you taken the time necessary to get to know yourself or heal from your past, instead of focusing on finding someone and getting married?
Everyone Deserves A Second Chance
Last week I was on vacation. We were able to get away for a few days, which was nice.
What I found interesting was that by changing my environment and routine, I was better able to connect with my creative side.
I still woke up early for writing practice and as I wrote, ideas flooded my consciousness. I realized I need to do this sort of thing on a regular basis. I need to unplug and change my environment to be able to get in touch with myself; to think, write and create.
One of the things that came to mind on my vacation was the concept of second chances.
Courtesy of Creative Commons
I believe people deserve second chances. Yes, even those who may have done atrocities.
Look at Paul in the Bible, before Jesus appeared to him, he was killing His followers.
So what makes Paul different than anyone else in God’s eyes?
Humans are the only ones who seem to put limits on God’s forgiveness, grace and mercy.
We are the harshest critics and judge of others.
Why do Christians believe they can get on their high horse and be self righteous of others they “deem” as unforgivable?
Christians forget where they came from. They get cleaned up and then they begin noticing the dirt on others. All the while oblivious to how dirty they were before God pulled them out of the mire.
Excuse me, but what right do we have to judge those who are in prison for instance?
As Christians, we shouldn’t be uttering under our breaths how they deserve everything they get or how they must of done something bad to be where they are in the first place.
We mock, we criticize and we judge. We act as if we are better, and have attained some high moral standard which allows us the right to point our fingers at others.
We read our bibles, pray, attend church and tithe, yet, we are not Christ like in the least.
We preach a good game, and mastered Christianese. However, we are so far from the heart of God and loving the outcasts of society.
We look down at and snub the homeless, the drug addicts, alcoholics and prostitutes. We look at those who are in prison like they’re lower than animals.
This grieves me. I see Christians all around me convinced they are living out the Bible. Meanwhile they can’t even control their tongues as they pour out their unrestrained and thoughtless criticism on others around them.
Their attitudes are far from what it means to love others as Christ does.
And we wonder why there are so many Christian marriages failing today.
This sums up the equation: Christians + Church = Hypocrites.
I want to assure my readers that I love Jesus. However, I don’t love religion or judgmental and religious people.
My vision of God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit is much greater than the limited and legalistic Christians who I see a lot of nowadays. I have no interest in mixing with them. I’ll pray for them, but I’m not playing religion. I’m also done pretending, it’s not for me. I’d rather walk this walk alone than be fake or phony.
I’m not the type to preach at people or tell people what I think they should or shouldn’t be doing. That’s not me. I will be the first to admit I have not arrived and am a work in progress. I refuse to walk around high and mighty, like I have my stuff together and have all the answers, because I don’t.
Nor will I look down my nose at anyone, not those selling their bodies, not homosexuals, not criminals, not murderers, not drug addicts or drug dealers, or alcoholics.
God loves everyone. He loves the sinner, but hates the sin. And guess what? We are all sinners, even those who have been saved by grace. We still contend with a sin nature, even after we get saved.
What I’m saying is there is no one better than the next guy. We are all the same in God’s eyes.
I know it’s a hard pill for some Christians to swallow, but it’s the truth. The reason why some have a hard time grasping this truth is because they feel the need to be superior or important.
God loves the humble and lowly.
Yes, I love Jesus, because Jesus is the only one who loves us in a way, no human is able to emulate. His love, compassion and forgiveness is all encompassing and far from our limited reach.
We want to put Jesus in a box and project what we think His love should be. All we’ve managed to accomplish is forming and following a god of our own warped understanding.
God is greater than anything we can come up with. Our vision is clouded to see Him as He truly is.
Jesus is loving and invites everyone, especially the outcasts and rejects of society.
He says, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28
Mahatma Gandhi said it best — ‘I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.’ Truer words were never spoken.
Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
God’s Pen
This morning I had a dream. I was in that in between state, when I heard these words, “You are God’s pen.”
Courtesy of Creative Commons
You would think that at 47, I would have figured out my calling or purpose in life.
Here I am 25 years later attending college at night to pursue my undergraduate degree. I’m working long hours, and writing a novel too. I’m enduring the torturous process of taking remedial math, algebra classes and writing fiction. Yet, when it comes to knowing my major or calling is, I haven’t a clue.
This week I was brainstorming with some colleagues, and one said I should continue writing. The other said perhaps I can study forensic psychology or become a detective. She mentioned I like to research, which is true. I can spend hours researching topics of interest.
I was also thinking about becoming a lawyer, so I could help those who are facing injustice. But at the rate I’m going, I would be over 60 by the time I finish.
This morning I heard, “You are God’s pen.” I have been praying and asking God for guidance and direction. Maybe this is His answer.
But how could I possibly help people by writing and not “doing” something to make a difference?
I love to see God move in people’s lives. Nothing gives me more pleasure than to co-labor with God and see justice prevail. My passion is communicating, bringing awareness and advocating change for those facing injustice.
You see friends, I’m not into doing anything if there isn’t a higher purpose for someone to benefit from. Most writers write because they are satisfied with just writing as an art form. Don’t get me wrong, I love art. But, there is something deeper that’s propelling me. The purpose of writing for me has to be more than just making art, or for entertainment.
I am half way through my life. I don’t feel like I have much time left to be putzing around. I pray God makes it clear as to what He wants me to do and shows me the way.
Do you think writing can make a difference and change things? In what ways? Please explain in the comment section below.
Be A Voice For Change
Little did I know, writing a novel would have such an impact on me.
It all began with an idea. An idea which lead me to research on mass incarceration and correspond with prison inmates.
Courtesy of Creative Commons ~ Torture ~ Hoa Lo Prison, Hanoi
Never realizing, it would lead me to want to become an activist and lobby for change in our prison system.
In my research and corresponding with inmates, I have come to learn about the gross injustice that exists in their world.
Some would say, if not most, “You do the crime, you do the time.” This is true, however, God doesn’t punish us to the degree that humans do.
Yes, I am aware there are consequences to our choices. However, I also know throwing people in prison to rot and die isn’t exactly helping them or solving the issue at hand.
Currently, funding has been cut to such a degree that there is a scarcity of rehabilitation programs being offered within our prison system. As a matter of fact, most will say, people coming out of prison are far worse than when they went in. Obviously, something is wrong with this picture.
Not only that, our government is making an exorbitant amount of money off of those who they incarcerate.
There is a large number of mentally ill people in prison, who are also in solitary confinement and not receiving the help or proper medication they require to get better.
As it stands, the prison system is broken and needs to be fixed.
The only way this is going to happen is if we advocate for it. It is not going to magically change on its own.
I don’t believe you have to have a family member who is or was in prison to care or have compassion. Personally, I have not experienced a parent, family member or friend who is or was incarcerated when I was growing up. I have never stepped foot inside a prison my entire life, yet I do care, have compassion and want to make a difference.
I feel compelled to try and do something. I just can’t stand by and watch, knowing all that I know and not do anything about it. I have a responsibility to get the word out, and to be about the change, not just talk or write about it.
Which is why I will be joining hundreds of people on May 5th to lobby against solitary confinement in Albany. I want to be a voice for the voiceless and advocate for change in our laws to help stop the torture of solitary confinement.
Solitary confinement is torture. Trust me, prison is bad enough than to add the isolation and poor conditions of solitary confinement on a human being. We treat our animals better in this country than we do humans. This is a sad testament to the state of affairs and it needs to change.
If you are interested in joining us on May 5th, please click here for the details and sign up.
Has writing brought awareness on a particular cause in your life? If so, please share in the comment section below.
Jesus Isn’t A Racist or A Murderer
A few weeks ago, I read this letter by Ray Jasper who was executed last Wednesday night in Texas.
Ray Jasper
Ray Jasper was 18 years old when he murdered David Alejandro.
David Alejandro
At the age of 33, David Alejandro was a lead singer of a Christian band besides running his own recording studio. Before Ray Jasper, an aspiring rapper, killed him.
Jasper had previous sessions in Alejandro’s recording studio prior to the attack. He devised a plan with two others to steal Alejandro’s studio equipment.
I’m not sure what possessed Jasper to make a tragic mistake in taking the life of someone he considered one of the nicest people he ever met.
But what I do know is that his final letter evidenced a changed man prior to his execution last Wednesday night.
Two wrongs don’t make a right, which is why I consider the death penalty unethical. I know there are Christians who don’t agree with me.
They quote bible verses in the Old Testament as their justification and reason for why they believe capital punishment is allowed by God. However, when I look at the New Testament, the new covenant, Jesus didn’t go around killing anyone.
Saul (before his name was changed to Paul) persecuted and killed Christians. If Jesus was in favor of the death penalty, he would have killed Paul on the road to Damascus. Yet, Jesus didn’t kill him, He showed him mercy, grace, love and forgiveness.
There are thirty-two states in the USA supporting the death penalty. Meanwhile, there are many on death row (or serving life sentences in solitary confinement) who are innocent.
Currently, there is a series on CNN called Death Row Stories, which is revealing a few of the many cases of those who were on death row and are now exonerated.
I’ll tell you this, I wouldn’t want to be those who are killing people by lethal injection, and have innocent blood on my hands the day I see Jesus.
In my humble opinion, the prison system is modern day slavery and the death penalty is a modern day genocide, where whites still lynch blacks by lethal injection.
Yes, I’m white and writing this. I refuse to pretend or turn a blind eye on the reality of racism in this country.
Jesus isn’t a racist, so therefore, neither am I.
As Christians, I believe we shouldn’t be in agreement or in favor of the death penalty. My heart grieves for all those who are innocent and sitting on death row or serving life sentences in solitary confinement.
Christians need to take a stand for change and be a voice for the voiceless. The death penalty is antiquated, inhumane, unethical, barbaric, and needs to be abolished.
Human beings do not have a right to dictate who lives and who dies; only God reserves that right.
What are some of the ways which we can advocate to abolish the death penalty?
My Writing Journey
I apologize for not blogging in awhile. One day runs into the next and before you know it, a month has passed.
I need to get better about blogging at least once a week. I have been writing a lot, just not blogging.
I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned I’m working on a novel.
Courtesy of Creative Commons
It all began last October when I decided to participate in NanoWriMo without ever writing a piece of fiction in my life. I know it sounds crazy. It was hard, but I felt the most alive.
I am glad I pushed through the fear and took the dive, because I’ve discovered I enjoy writing fiction.
Thus, my focus has been more on my novel and less on blogging.
I began this blog a couple of years ago with the focus on book reviews. I still enjoy writing book reviews, however, recently my reading has been exclusive to research.
I’m learning a great deal about the discipline and art of fiction writing. It’s been an interesting journey to say the least.
I just wanted to take the time to update you, since I didn’t want any of you to think I fell off the map.
There has been so much on my heart I’ve wanted to share. But each time I tried, I would choke up and not write anything at all.
For me, good writing is like eating a gourmet meal and not fast food. I want to be able to write something of substance and quality; and not regurgitate the same ole, same ole.
I want to thank all of you for hanging in there with me as I find my way on this writing journey.
Do you struggle to write when your heart and mind are full? What do you do to push past it?
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