Tag Archives: Overcoming Fear

It’s Hard To Say Goodbye

Do you find it hard to say goodbye? I do.

Courtesy of Celine Shortie – Flicker CC

Lately, there are so many changes happening, and with those changes, goodbyes.

The changes are occurring on my job and where I live. I’m having to say goodbye to people I have known for a long while.

I’m not good with changes or goodbyes.

In the days ahead, I’m going to have to say goodbye to a number of people I care about, from co-workers to neighbors.

No, I’m not going anywhere, they are. I’m happy for them, but sad for me.

Change always unsettles me, it challenges my stability. It makes me feel insecure. Especially when I am unaware of what’s to come, the unknown.

There are times when we are forced to say goodbye to people we care about, whether it is for our own mental/emotional health or the inevitable, death.

Those final goodbyes are the hardest.

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2013 has been riddled with change and goodbyes. I’m trying hard to cope, but deep down, I am preoccupied with it all and what’s to come.

I realize we have no control over what the future holds, we only have today, the moment. But in times like this, I seem to allow the moment to be robbed by worry and anxiety.

I know this is something I personally struggle with.

When something is good, I don’t want it to change. I want it to stay the same forever.

There are some that say change is good. I wish I had that perspective. I would get up every morning embracing the day without fear or reservation.

Unfortunately, that’s not how I get up every day. I get up to a torrent of worry. This is my reality, my personal nightmare. With so much change and upheavel, it’s really challenging me in ways I didn’t think possible.

Perhaps in the end, it will all be for the best. Hopefully this upheaval of change will stretch my character and hopefully, my faith. Only time will tell.

How do you handle changes or saying goodbye? Is this something you struggle with too?

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Does Anyone Else Want To Overcome Fear?

I don’t know what I was thinking when I accepted Jon Acuff’s Start challenge a couple of weeks ago. Perhaps I was delusional.

He invited over 2,000 people to participate and over 200 accepted. I was one of them.

Each morning I get an inspirational email from Jon Acuff. I start my day off on the right foot, only to wind up with fear… in my face.

Courtesy of PATRICK BOEHNER – Creative Commons

Fear is relentless.

It tells me I’m no good. It tells me I am not a writer. It tells me to give up.

Jon Acuff tells me to punch fear in the face.

So, fear and I start going at it first thing in the morning. I wind up losing time and time again.

Fear harasses me when I wake up then bullies me all day long.

Forget about when I want to write… fear hurls its ugly insults at me.

Fear is a bully.

Friends, I can’t seem to beat fear. I keep trying to confront this bully, but fear keeps winning every time.

I’m inflated one moment then deflated the next.

I honestly wish I can overcome fear and win for once, instead of allowing it to overpower my life.

Ironically, the minute I committed to the Start challenge, my whole world turned upside down.

I don’t want to bore you with the details, but when I tell you this year has been full of changes, it’s an understatement.

They say change is good, but too many changes at one time is not. At least, not for me.

Fear is a torment, it stops my dreams and prevents me from doing anything worthwhile in my life.

Does anyone else want to overcome fear besides me?

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Wrestling With The In-Between

I am reading this book which is really provoking me. I’m sure you all heard me speak of Jeff Goins. Well, I am reading an advanced copy of his new book called, The In-Between, which is coming out on August 1st.

I just started reading it and can’t put it down. I absolutely love the way Jeff Goins writes. He is never boring. He also exudes wisdom in his writing. He’s an old soul. I also find myself relating to much of what he writes. I’m not going to give it all away because I want you to read and experience it for yourself. I will also be posting a review when I am done.

He is really making me think. The kind of deep, looking at yourself kind of thinking. I find myself stopping, remembering, and making connections in my own life. This is the reason why I follow his blog because not only is it good writing, but he really makes you think and gives you meat to chew on. I aspire to write like him.

I know, I know, I am not really comparing myself to him although I can’t help but admit I truly wish I can write like he does. But then, I wouldn’t be myself, right?

I go through a liturgy within myself of all the reasons why no one would like my writing. Why would anyone bother reading what I write? There are people like Jeff Goins, Chris Brogan, Seth Godin, Steven Pressfield, and Andi Cumbo. I mean, who in the world wants to read what I have to say?

Which is why I totally feel dejected and rejected when someone unfollows or unfriends me. I get repulsed with myself in the sense that I’m being totally self-absorbed and pathetic.

Why do I want to matter so much? Why do I want everyone in the world to like and accept me? What is this thing inside of me that wants me to be like everyone else instead of being myself, being happy with myself and that being good enough?

I mean, for goodness sake, I’m going to be 47 years old. You would think I would grow up already and display some sort of maturity here? I feel like I’m still stuck in high school, trying to be accepted by my peers. To be in the “in” group and part of the cool clique. I believe this may even be called narcissism.

I wrestle within myself; one part of me says, Who cares what people think about you, your writing, or what you have to say? The next minute I’m licking my wounds from someone unfollowing me because they didn’t like what I had to say.

Jeff Goins says, You don’t write for other people; you write for yourself. You don’t write for accolades; you write because you have to. You see? He’s so smart.

In his book, The In-Between, he discusses writing as a calling. I’m trying to figure out if writing is my calling or not. With so many talented writers out there, where do I fit in?

I don’t have the answer, but despite the resistance to write and publish, I will continue… as hard as it is for me… I will try to be brave and courageous as those I mentioned above and not give up.

What about you? Do you go through this as a writer? How do you battle the resistance and the incessant negative voices?

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