Category Archives: blogging
Resilience
“Thou therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ.”
II Timothy 2:3
I have been thinking a lot about the word, resilience. Merriam-Webster defines resilience this way:
An ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change.
This week and in the days ahead, the people of New York and New Jersey will continue to endure hardship and be resilient.
The extent of damage from Hurricane Sandy is apocalyptic.
We (my family) were fortunate, even so, we are feeling the after effects. We are not able to purchase gas. The lines to get gas remind me of the 70’s when there was a shortage.
I must have been about eight or nine years old. I remember it was the summer.
One hot and humid day, I decided to be industrious and drag a cooler filled with cold sodas and water in a red wheelbarrow to the nearest gas station. There was a long line of cars waiting for gas.
At that time, there wasn’t air conditioning in the cars, so I was able to sell all the water and soda quickly.
My entrepreneur, restaurant owner and chef father was proud of me. He was bragging about what I did to all of his customers.
These long lines remind me of back then, only this time, it’s not hot out.
I do not think the gas situation will be resolved quickly. Another factor which is now being introduced is a shortage of oil.
So not only are we experiencing a shortage of gas, but we will also be experiencing a shortage of oil.
The apartment complex where I live runs on oil. So this will be interesting.
Every time I feel overwhelmed or begin to worry, I remind myself of how we were spared. Right now, there are countless people who lost their homes or who still don’t have any power or worse, a mother who lost both her children.
It is cold out. There are families with little children who are freezing. Those who don’t have family to stay with or the means to stay in a motel or even get around. I can’t deny feeling blessed and grateful despite the weight of anxiety and sadness I feel.
A good friend of mine told me to blog about what is happening. I actually hesitated to write about it, but perhaps she is right. Maybe I do need to write about what is happening here in the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy.
For those of you who reached out and are praying, on behalf of my family and I, we want to say thank you. May the Lord bless you for caring and for your heart of compassion during this difficult time.
Rainbows in the Midst…
But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him. Hebrews 11:6
I woke up with this scripture on my mind. I thought it apropos given the aftermath of the Allume Conference and Hurricane Sandy.
It was a blessing to be able to attend the Allume Conference and finally meet Tricia Goyer (who is an absolute sweetheart), Mary DeMuth, Sarah Markley, Sarah Mae, Jessica Heights, Christin Slade, Kelly Thorne Gore, Rachel Wojnarowski, Christy Stroud from Tyndale Publishers, Revell Publishers, Zondervan Publishers and so many other wonderful people.
We drove three hours to get to Pennsylvania, checked in and headed over to register. I was given a beautiful bag filled with goodies.
It was my first time attending this conference, so I wasn’t sure what to expect. But I was definitely excited with the line up.
Darren Rowse (a.k.a. ProBlogger) and Ann Voskamp were on the top of my list. I never heard either one of them speak before.
I was really touched by what Darren Rowse shared at his key note. He didn’t speak about how to make money with your blog, but more about his testimony and faith.
I enjoyed listening to Sarah Mae and Jessica Heights key notes as well. I love their hearts.
My hat goes off to Sarah, Jessica and their entire team for all their hard work and pulling off such an amazing conference. It truly was a success.
After awhile, it began to feel more like a Christian woman’s conference than a blogger’s conference which was refreshing.
My favorite place was the Prayer Room which was sponsored by The Seed Company.
Isn’t the prayer room beautiful? I spent my free time there to unplug, pray and write in prayer journals. The Seed Company blessed us royally.
The highlight of this conference for me was hearing Ann Voskamp speak for the first time. I never read Ann Voskamp’s blog or her best selling book, One Thousand Gifts. I only heard wonderful things about her through the grapevine. Now I know what they were all talking about.
Prior to her keynote, there were two videos shown by (In)Courage and Compassion International which moved me. I love to support causes helping disadvantaged children and Compassion International does amazing work.
After the videos, Ann Voskamp began to speak and tears rolled down my face. What she spoke about pierced my heart. I was riveted and touched by her every word. What an anointed woman of God. I pray I could get a copy of her key note, because I want to hear it again. I felt God used her to confirm what He was speaking to my heart throughout the conference.
Unfortunately, I had to abruptly leave right after she spoke due to Hurricane Sandy. We left and drove home to prepare for the impending storm. I do not believe I have to reiterate how devastating this hurricane was to our city. It was truly unprecedented. Please keep us in your prayers.
I am grateful the Lord is still in control and on the throne. Despite the devastation, I chose to see rainbows in the midst of the storm. I continue to pray for all those who were affected.
Please let me know how I can pray for you today. Please leave your prayers in the comment section below.
He said He wanted to Kill Me
Last night I decided to go to church for prayer service. Before I was married and had kids, I lived at Times Square Church. I was there every Tuesday and Friday night and all day Sunday. I even served on the choir before someone told me they wanted to kill me.
I never told a soul. I just stepped down quietly from the choir. I mean, who in their right mind was going to stay in the choir after that? Maybe I should have stayed, but deep down, I was disillusioned.
Early one Sunday morning, I was praying alone in the choir section when I sensed a presence. I opened my eyes to find a tall male standing before me. I recognized him, he was in his choir robe like me. He said he needed to ask my forgiveness. I asked him for what (since I never had any dealings with him). He said for wanting to kill me.
I think I was traumatized at that moment because all I said was, I forgive you. I can’t believe that’s all I said.
Why couldn’t I have told him, “Hey dude, what did I ever do to you to warrant your wanting to kill me?” I mean, wouldn’t that have been more normal?
Eighteen years later, I think back and wish I would have had enough courage to ask him why.
I went through a whole gamut of emotions and questions. All I was doing was praying. Aren’t you suppose to feel safe in church? I did not feel safe at all. I actually never looked at church the same way again.
Don’t get me wrong, I love Times Square Church greatly. It is where God brought me, put me, planted me and where I grew up in the faith. It is where I first experienced the presence of God. The preaching is phenomenal and I’ve made great friends there. Many who are now leaders or serving overseas as full time missionaries.
It’s not the church’s fault, it’s not anyone’s fault. However, last night, memories began to flood my mind and emotions began to well up. Yes, I forgive this man, wherever he is. The irony of it all is that I didn’t even know his name. But his face will be forever etched in my memory.
Conceptually, I understood at twenty-seven that evil was using this man as a host. But it’s still hard to grasp something like this magnitude, especially since it happened in church by a supposed brother in Christ. I couldn’t understand it, still don’t and perhaps I never will.
However, since then, I no longer close my eyes when I pray in church. I do for second or two, but then I open them again. I only pray with abandon when I’m alone and in the confines of my home.
I wonder if anyone else has had a similar experience in church? If so, please share. I would love to know I’m not alone.
Where Faith Grows by Joseph Iregbu
Today’s guest post is by Joseph Iregbu. Joseph leads on purpose and is passionate about raising the next generation of leaders. He is the author of Even in the Well and a free eBook Lines of Impact. He lives in Germany with his wife and daughter, and is a coach and mentor to young leaders across Europe and Africa. You can connect with him on Twitter @J_Iregbu, and his blog, where you can read about his Story of Hope.
Have you ever heard the phrase: “Just take a step of faith?”
I have, almost every week. It’s a good phrase. It’s powerful too, and church folks love it. But here’s the problem: we have become too familiar with Christian jargon that we no longer understand what they mean in reality.
Taking a step of faith means you have to move. Well, you cannot do that by sitting on the couch all day. You must do something. For some, it might mean to dust your résumé and apply for that job, or take on that part time work you would rather not do so you can pay the bills in the meantime, or volunteer at the charity organisation where you get to impact lives locally while waiting for your big break on national level.
Faith Grows in Unexpected Places
Next time you ‘pray’ for faith, God is saying; “Start doing”.
Faith grows in unexpected places. No one experiences transformation under a sunny beach, sipping red wine. You could try. But it probably won’t work.
True transformation is not experienced in the place of ease. We experience faith in hard places, when we make hard choices. We must be willing to step into the unknown like Abraham, not knowing where God was leading, but trusting that He was faithful to lead well.
You cannot simply ‘pray’ faith into your life. Trusting God doesn’t come by meditation but action. You have to ultimately do something to demonstrate you believe. Don’t get my wrong; praying is fundamental. You must do that. Oh how we ought to pray more! Praying is indeed a demonstration of faith to some extent.
My point is that there are times we become so spiritual about issues that God has given us the platform to deal with. We become overly holy; we convince ourselves “I am seeking the face of the Lord” when God has clearly given us His leading on the matter. In doing this, we often fail to maximize His known purpose and will for our lives.
Faith Embraces Pain
We grow faith when we act. We grow faith when we step into the messiness of life and get our hands dirty, doing the work we may not naturally desire while we trust and wait for God’s leading on the next move. That certainly contrasts with a life of ease. Why? Because faith embraces pain.
Faith is not theoretical but practical. Faith is life. And life comes with making hard choices at times.
What practical and hard step will you commit to take this week to grow your faith?
My Birthday Prayer
You are probably wondering why I’m posting this photo on my birthday? Well, that’s a very good question…
In 1995, I had the pleasure of hearing Heidi Baker speak at my church, Times Square Church. She was a visiting missionary and spoke about her experiences on the mission field in Mozambique.
I was a baby Christian at the time. I remember my heart swelling with longing and tears streaming down my face. I also remember falling on my knees at the altar and telling God I would go.
Umm, it’s now seventeen years later and I haven’t gone. I mean, I’ve gone on a short term mission trip to Guatemala and other adventures, but I didn’t give it all up for God like I prayed that day at the altar.
Lately, I have been bombarded by the same theme.
It started out while reading Mary DeMuth’s book, Everything. Then Jeff Goins’ book, Wrecked to Kingdom Journeys by Seth Barnes.
It doesn’t stop there.
Last week, I watched Half the Sky and thought my heart would explode.
Last, but not least, I began reading a book last night for a blog tour on October 22nd called Tears Water The Seeds of Hope by Kim Lews. Yet again, the same theme.
This coming Friday starts the 25th Anniversary and Missions Conference at Times Square Church. I am looking forward to catching up with all my missionary friends who are serving overseas. I was suppose to be one of them. But chose a different course.
God isn’t over with me yet. I believe He is directing me somewhere. I’m not a hundred percent clear on what it is yet. But, I have been so convicted and burdened lately. The more I read, the more I see, the more I want to help.
Today is my birthday. I am grateful to God for another birthday. He has been amazing and wonderful to me. He has blessed me and my family in tremendous ways. I am truly thankful.
But, somehow the words of Nicholas Kristof echos in my mind and heart…
“Talent is universal, opportunity is not.”
This statement haunts me because it is true.
Again, this same theme/concept jumps off the pages of Tears Water The Seeds of Hope, which is… What are we going to do with what God has given and blessed us with? Are we going to just sit on it, use it for ourselves or give back and help?
I yearn to make a difference in this world. I don’t enjoy seeing starving children, nor girls stuck selling themselves in the Red Light District.
It hurts that poverty is rampant and children are dying from starvation or from diarrhea because parents are so poor to afford antibiotics.
It is despairing that here are multitudes of people around the world who don’t have access to clean water.
I repent of ever complaining, especially when there are so many living in sordid conditions around the world.
So the question remains, what am I going to do about it? I can’t simply talk about it, but I must DO something about it.
I’m realizing if the Christian community chips in, we can make an enormous impact and difference in this world. Yes, the need is great, but if we each did our part, imagine the ripple effect it can have?
In my humble opinion, Christianity is more than going to church on Sunday, reading your bible and paying your tithes.
Christianity is this, “Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.” James 1:27
The verse the Lord keeps reminding me of again and again.
Today, my birthday prayer is to give and make a difference to those less fortunate than myself. I want to help the poor, needy and hungry. Those who have nothing, who need food, medicine and clean water.
I am not sure what this is going to look like, but this is my real ‘dream’. Yes, I want to write and use my gifts to the glory of God and bless others. However, my biggest desire is to make a difference, not for myself, but for the children around the world.
Does this resonate with you? Do you have a burden for the poor? Do you want to use your gifts to make a difference in other people’s lives? I would love to hear your thoughts in the comment section below.
Guest Post: Did You Miss The Boat?
I wrote a guest post today for my friend Tammy Helfrich, who is enjoying a much deserved vacation right now. I met Tammy on line and then in person at the Quitter Conference a couple of weeks ago. We developed a quick friendship, she is one of the nicest people I know. I’m so blessed to have connected with her and become her friend.
I had the pleasure of attending my first Quitter Conference last week. I admit, I didn’t have high expectations. I actually went to meet all of my new Quitter friends.
I had become a cynic with regards to dreams.
I remember years ago when I first met my husband, he started telling me about his dreams. I would scoff at him. I would tell him things like, “Oh come on, give me a break, dreams are for kids,” or “Dreams are not for grown ups.”
Through the years, as I “matured”, my dreams began taking the back seat. I would hear someone talking about their dreams and I would think to myself, “Oh boy, here’s another ‘rainbow in the sky’ person.” I would politely smile as I listened to their banter on ‘dreams’.
Then I met these Quitter dreamers on line. I started to watch and observe them interact with each other. I loved how they were supportive of each other’s dreams. I liked them because they were all positive and encouraging people.
To read the rest, please click here.
Holy Surrender
God woke me up at 6:00am this morning. I don’t know what is happening lately, but I feel as if my heart is about to explode. Since reading books like Mary DeMuth’s Everything and Seth Barnes Kingdom Journeys, something is changing in me. I can’t quite put my finger on it or explain it, but it’s all good.
I woke up to this song on my mind, “A Broken Spirit and a Contrite Heart”. Interesting that I would wake up to this song in my head. It’s not like I’ve been thinking about Psalm 51 which is David’s prayer of repentance to God after committing adultery.
For You do not desire sacrifice, or else I would give it;
You do not delight in burnt offering.
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit,
A broken and a contrite heart—
These, O God, You will not despise. ~ Psalm 51:16-17
I meditated on the above verses this morning and just wept. I have no idea why I was weeping or why my heart felt like it was going to come out of my chest. But I didn’t move, I just stayed with it and worshiped God.
I have this great love for God, but if I try to explain how or why, I am at a loss for words. How does one explain the enormity of God’s love? Words get in the way or become small and limiting. He is so big and vast. He is beyond beauty and grace. He’s perfect and wonderful.
My logical mind wants to confine or define Him. But you can’t put God in a box or explain Him. He says, I am that I Am. Simple as that. But we seem to want to complicate Him.
There are times I want to convey Him to others. I want them to see the enormity of His love. But again, I am limited. Limited by my flaws and failures.
My words don’t do Him justice. I can’t really translate what it is I feel for Him. My love for Him goes beyond feeling and emotions. I just know Him.
I hear Him, feel Him, see Him and love Him. He is the air I breathe and my beating heart. He is the light by day and a song by night. He is my inspiration. He is my all and all.
The constant wooing, yearning, craving and longing perpetually drawing me to Him. Sometimes I don’t know whether to throw myself at His feet or scream from the highest mountain. The intensity of His love is too much for my body and heart to contain.
How do you explain love? When you love someone, you know you love them. From hence does it come?
It comes from God. The creator of the universe. He composites love. He embodies love. He creates love. He is love.
By now, you are probably wondering if I’m a flake? Nope. I’m not. I’m just sharing my love affair with you.
My intimacy and relationship with God is a big part of who I am. I am who I am because of Him. He created and formed me. He gives me life, He makes me breath, He motivates and inspires me. He makes my heart sing and speaks to me in the night. He is my constant companion and my loyal friend.
Jesus is my Everything.
So no, I don’t know what exactly is happening, but I want more. I want to experience the fullness of God. The depths and heights of His love, I want to experience it all. I don’t want the rules and regulations. I don’t want the stale bread of religion. I don’t want to live a hum drum existence. I want to live a life of bountiful faith. I want to live fully alive.
I want to live holy surrendered in Him.
In conclusion, I want to share an awesome worship song I listened to this morning. It’s called “Sweetly Broken” by Jeremy Riddle. I love the lyrics.
Insecurity, The Bully
Do you know her? Insecurity? If you do, then you know she’s a possessed bully.
Insecurity has an uncanny way of showing up even when she’s uninvited. She is obnoxious and rude. She is no friend of mine. No siree.
Insecurity annoys me to the utmost. Every time I think I’m going to beat her at her own game. She winds up winning.
What makes matters worse is that she’s always laughing at me. You know the sinister kind you hear in a horror flick. Infuriating.
I want to kick her in the butt, like “Karate Kid” or “Rocky”.
Insecurity has been bullying me all my life. Every time I would get on stage to sing, I would hear her cackling and saying, “Ha! She thinks she can sing. Watch her crack or forget her lyrics. It’s hilarious.”
I start to recite scriptures to myself to drown her out. Nothing works, I could feel my throat constrict, heart race and palms sweat. Insecurity wins again.
Insecurity always sneaks up on me unawares as I sit staring at a blank page. She howls, “You can’t write, just like you can’t sing. There are so many other talented people who can really sing, write and do everything much better than you. Haven’t you realized you don’t matter? Nobody is even remotely interested in what you have to say. Look at you, what have you accomplished in your life? You are going to be 46 years old and you’ve done nothing. Zip. Zilch. Nada. You know why? Because you are a loser with a capital ‘L’.”
At this point, I’m either going to do “Moves like Jagger” or go “Rambo” on her. Or better yet… shoot her! Metaphorically speaking, that is. I shalt not murder. So, get thee behind me… Insecurity.
I’m sick of listening to her go on and on and on. She’s incessant and never shuts up. I’m tired of her already. I want to be free of Insecurity, once and for all, whatever the cost.
Do you struggle with insecurity? Are you ready to kick her in the butt and tell her where to go?
Reborn Dreamer
This is Jon Acuff. He was kind enough to pray for me while I was dying of laughter. I was laughing so hard they were going to have to carry me out on a stretcher. I kid you not.
Anyone who can make me laugh and cry in one sentence is seriously gifted. I tried to hold back (as I was sitting in the front row) but to no avail. I couldn’t help myself. I do not remember laughing and crying so much in a long time. My stomach still hurts days later from attending the Quitter Conference.
I believe the Lord wanted me at this conference. I had all the excuses in the book not to go, but yet and still, I felt the nudge of God telling me to go. The week leading up to the conference all hell broke loose. I can see why now, I was blessed beyond measure.
I have to be honest and admit that initially I did not have high expectations. I was even wondering if I was wasting my time and money by going. Also, leaving my family behind was definitely not my comfort zone. My boys were not feeling my leaving them.
As as matter of fact, my eldest son told me to never to do that again. He said next time I have to take him with me so he can make sure I am ok. I guess next time we’ll have to make it a family vacation.
Initially, I thought the Quitter Conference was just a lot of hype. But I was so wrong. This conference was unlike any other conference I have been to in my entire life. I am not exaggerating.
I can see why everyone makes a big deal about Jon Acuff. He is such an authentic, down to earth and great guy. I had the pleasure of meeting and speaking with him a couple of times at the conference.
Let’s just say this conference made me believe in my dreams again. Hello world, my name is Pilar and I am a reborn dreamer.
Besides hearing Jon Acuff, I also got to hear wonderful speakers such as Al Andrews, Matt Chambers, Jeff Goins and Alli Worthington. What an amazing line up.
Last but not least, the absolute treat of this conference was listening to Jon Acuff’s favorite band, Seryn. They are now my favorite band. I want everyone to know about Seryn because I had a spiritual experience listening to them. I have never felt so much joy listening to a band in my life.
I have been a lover of music my entire life. I am also a singer, so I have been exposed and my ear trained to know good music. This band is simply amazing. You must see them live to get the full effect. Each band member knows how to play several instruments extremely well. They are virtuosos.
Seryn’s lead singer Trenton Wheeler (isn’t that a cool name), absolutely poured himself out. He is an exceptionally talented artist. His voice is unique, his sense of rhythm impeccable and his gift of playing several instruments is out of this world.
I guarantee you if you see them play live, you will be mesmerized and left in a trance. Since hearing them, all I’ve been doing is talking about them. I am hoping they will come play in New York City.
Thanks to my dear Quitter friends, Jon Acuff and the Quitter Conference, I am a reborn dreamer. I have renewed hope to pursue my passions and dreams. I was able to reconnect with my deep love of music and singing by going to this conference. I am not too old and I haven’t missed the boat either. I am right where God wants me. So I am no longer dreading turning 46 in two weeks.
If there is one thing I took away from this conference is our dreams are not ours, but for others. I was deeply moved and inspired by this concept and it helped change my view of dreams.
In conclusion, I want to share a link of one of my favorite songs by Seryn. If you like their music, I encourage you to buy their latest CD on ITunes. You won’t be disappointed.
The Extraordinary Vessel
I do not know about you, but I feel run over. Like a Mack truck hit me going 90 miles an hour. Not physically, but spiritually.
Sometimes, when God is working new things into us, He has to work the old stuff out of us. This process is uncomfortable and often stressful.
You are not alone if you feel this way. As servants, we are vessels to be filled and emptied.
Over and over and over.
No one said this life following Christ would be easy. In fact, Jesus said we would have trouble in this life. The good news, no, the great news is He overcame the world and since we are constantly being changed into His image, we can develop the skills we need to overcome too!
We can go from “glory to glory”.
When you face a struggle or a trial remember this.
- You are not alone. (God will never leave you or forsake you)
- Help is on the way. (He is help in this very present trouble)
- When you have done all you can do, stand. (If you look to your left and right, I bet God has brought someone to stand with you!)
Struggles in life will come. Some may be physical, some financial, lots of them spiritual, but in every struggle there is a promise.
He has you in His hands, and nothing: not height, not depth, not any creature, no man, no woman, no boss, no debt collector, no doctor, no death, NOTHING can separate you from His Love.
The work of growing, of pressing through until you have victory may be hard, but it will be worth it.
Here is a story to drive it home:
A young woman, who was afraid of her garage because she did not like spiders and hated the smell of dust, avoided her garage as much as possible and often put off washing her laundry because the washer and dryer were in there.
One day a man came by and said “If you clean out your garage and get it ready, I will fill it with your dream car.”
She doubted at first, but she saw he was going to her neighbors and offering the same deal to them. Soon she saw Bentleys and Porches lining her street.
So she began the work.
It was hard. It got hot. She was itchy. Spiders crawled on her. She shook with revulsion, but she pushed through.
She found things in there that she wanted to hang onto, but knew she needed to trash. Soon, everything that was garbage was on the curb. The inside was clean and organized.
Sure enough, the man showed up with a brand new car. It was full of all the bells, and whistles. If there were a better car for her, it had not been made yet. This man had fulfilled his promise.
Now, you are the girl, the garage is your heart and the “man” is God. He is waiting to give you your dream. You just need to press through and get on with obeying Him. He has a reward far greater than you can ask or even think.
The struggles you face may not be from the enemy. They may be God trying to turn the ordinary vessel into an extraordinary vessel!
Join the discussion:
Do you have a favorite scripture that helps you face difficult times? Share it below.










