Category Archives: writing
Why Do You Write?
I enjoy reading interviews of writers and their creative process.
In the past few days, I have been reading interviews of great authors, such as Ernest Hemingway, F. Scott Fitzgerald, William Faulkner and Gustave Flaubert.
Courtesy of Creative Commons
I noticed a common thread in these authors is narcissism.
There seems to be a correlation between creative genius and mental illness.
Ernest Hemingway shot himself. F. Scott Fitzgerald was depressed. William Faulkner was an alcoholic. Actually, all three were alcoholics. Gustave Flaubert’s personal life was a bit ‘out there’.
******
I’ve been lurking behind the scenes and observing writers lately.
Writers seem to be plagued by insecurities, much like great authors were.
Writers want to be known. They want their writing to be read and heard. They want to know their writing matters to others and is making a difference in someone’s life.
Personally, I don’t get many comments or traffic on my blog. Nor do I have a large following, audience or platform.
I have had to come to terms that it may always stay this way.
Occasionally, I’ll get a reader who tells me they enjoy my posts and likes my writing. But, not very many.
Truthfully, the more I write and share what God puts on my heart, the less people seem to like it and thus, I get less traffic.
Which is why I had to ask myself the following questions:
1) Am I writing for God, myself or others?
2) Why do I write in the first place?
3) Will I continue to write even if no one reads it and/or my audience never grows?
My answers:
1) I write for God and myself.
2) I write because I love to write. I love words. I love the artistic expression and creative process. I love reading books and writing.
3) Now this one was a hard one to answer, because as I mentioned above, all writers want to be heard and appreciated. But I’ve come to the conclusion, that I do not want my writing to be about someone else liking or accepting it. I want God’s approval. I want to write what I’m passionate about whether anyone else agrees with it or likes it or not. Other people liking my writing is just the icing on the cake.
I’ve discovered that to continue writing, the ‘why’ has to be bigger than the ‘obstacle’.
If your why isn’t bigger than your obstacle, then you won’t keep at it.
If you are only writing for man’s applause or recognition, you will eventually be disappointed and give up.
Writing for others is the wrong focus and motivation.
Writers have to be comfortable and content for art’s sake.
Even if no one reads your writing, you should still want to write anyway.
Writing should never be about other people, but about God and you.
This is the reason why I write.
Now it’s your turn, why do you write?
No Compromise
A little leaven leaveneth the whole lump. Galatians 5:9
I keep hearing this verse in my head. When the Lord puts a scripture on my heart, I know there is a reason.
What is the Lord is trying to tell me?
Courtesy of Creative Commons.
Recently, I have been making bread from scratch. It’s been fun discovering the magic of dry yeast.
It’s amazing how a little bit of yeast does make the dough rise.
I began thinking of this in a spiritual context.
In the Bible, leaven denotes sin.
******
Years ago, when I first became a Christian, I was an aspiring actress and singer. A friend of mine, who is now a pastor, took me to his church. It was in the basement of a house in Brooklyn. I lived in Manhattan at the time. He and his wife picked me up and took me there.
I went and heard their pastor preach and was immediately convicted. I remember standing in this pastor’s kitchen afterwards. He asked me what I did for a living? I told him I worked as a secretary while pursuing a career in acting and singing. His immediate response was for me to give up acting and singing.
I was like, what? Give.it.up? Just like that. He said, You love Jesus, right? Well, you need to give up that life if you want to live for Him and serve Him. He told me we are in this world, but not of it. (Romans 12:2)
I was furious. Who was he to tell me such a thing? Didn’t he realize how much I’ve invested, not just money, but time, in pursuing my career? Is he kidding me?
Needless to say, I stopped going to that church. But his words continued to echo in my head.
God knew my heart and began dealing with me. Eventually, I did renounce that life. It didn’t happen overnight, but eventually God got a hold of me and I gave it up willingly.
My desire for God became bigger than my ambition.
Now I’m a writer. I’ve always been a writer, even when I didn’t know it. I filled notebooks with poetry and poured my heart out on the page for years. I never imagined I would one day have a blog and share my heart on this platform.
God is speaking to me once again. Will I compromise in my writing? Will I use my gift to promote others rather than Him? Will I be His mouthpiece in this lost world? Will I write what He tells me, even if it’s unpopular? Will I write despite man’s rejection or opposition?
I’ve been a Christian over 25 years now and I know not to say ‘no’ to God or what He’s asking me to do. It would be suicide.
This morning I wrote in my journal, I’d rather run the risk of man’s rejection than disobey or grieve God’s heart.
I need God. I need His love, His wisdom, His fellowship, His friendship, His help, His guidance, and His presence. This world can’t give that to me, only He can and does.
I know this may seem narrow and rigid to many believers today, but what I find myself continually repeating to my brothers and sisters in Christ, is that we all have different callings. My calling may not be the same as your calling. What may be ok for you, may not be ok for me or vice versa.
God has a specific call, plan and purpose for my life regardless of whether other people understand it or not. I know enough at this stage of the game not to compromise what He is telling me to do. I refuse to compromise.
Are you willing to run the risk of rejection from man for the sake of God? What are you willing to give up for God? Are you willing to take a stand for Christ in these last days even if it’s unpopular and not what everyone else is doing?
Start by Jon Acuff
Hardcover: 288 pages
Publisher: Thomas Nelson (April 23, 2013)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1937077594
ISBN-13: 978-1937077594
Price: $22.99
Purchase: Amazon | BN
Description
Wall Street Journal best-selling author Jon Acuff reveals the steps to getting unstuck and back onto the path of being awesome. Over the last 100 years, the road to success for most everyone has been divided into predictable stages. But three things have changed the path to success: Boomers are realizing that a lot of the things they were promised aren’t going to materialize, and they have started second and third careers. Technology has given access to an unprecedented number of people who are building online empires and changing their lives and changing their lives that would have been impossible years ago. The days of “success first, significance later,” have ended. While none of the stages can be skipped, they can be shortened and accelerated. There are only two paths in life: average and awesome. The average path is easy because all you have to do is nothing. The awesome path is more challenging, because things like fear only bother you when you do work that matters. The good news is Start gives readers practical, actionable insights to be more awesome, more often.
Review
I read Quitter, I went to the Quitter Conference and now I’ve had the sincere pleasure of reading Start.
I enjoy Jon Acuff’s voice. He has an impeccable sense of humor. This man makes me laugh harder than anyone. He also makes me cry. He is wise, compassionate and brilliant.
I wish I can carry a miniature Jon Acuff on my shoulder every day. He is the greatest encourager and motivator out there.
He doesn’t share what he hasn’t gone through. He is transparent with his struggles and the mistakes he’s made. He writes what has helped him go from Point A to Point B. He is generous with advice and doesn’t hold anything back.
His passion is helping others reach their dreams without destroying their lives. How can you not love this guy?
Start is the kind of book you will want to keep reading and not put down. It is full of wisdom, humor, inspiration, encouragement and motivation.
Why settle for ordinary, when you can be awesome. Jon Acuff tells you how to do it in, Start.
I loved Quitter and Start even more. I believe you will too.
Jon Acuff used to be a Serial Quitter. He had eight jobs in eight years, constantly hoping the next one would be different. From writing advertising for The Home Depot to branding for companies like Bose and Staples, he’s no stranger to the cubicle.
In 2010, Jon closed the gap between his day job and his dream job when he joined the Dave Ramsey team to become a full-time author. He has contributed to CNN.com, speaks nationally on a variety of subjects, and is the author of three books: Quitter; Gazelles, Baby Steps And 37 Other Things Dave Ramsey Taught Me About Debt; and Stuff Christians Like.
He lives in Nashville, TN, with his wife and two daughters.
It’s Hard To Say Goodbye
Do you find it hard to say goodbye? I do.
Courtesy of Celine Shortie – Flicker CC
Lately, there are so many changes happening, and with those changes, goodbyes.
The changes are occurring on my job and where I live. I’m having to say goodbye to people I have known for a long while.
I’m not good with changes or goodbyes.
In the days ahead, I’m going to have to say goodbye to a number of people I care about, from co-workers to neighbors.
No, I’m not going anywhere, they are. I’m happy for them, but sad for me.
Change always unsettles me, it challenges my stability. It makes me feel insecure. Especially when I am unaware of what’s to come, the unknown.
There are times when we are forced to say goodbye to people we care about, whether it is for our own mental/emotional health or the inevitable, death.
Those final goodbyes are the hardest.
*****
2013 has been riddled with change and goodbyes. I’m trying hard to cope, but deep down, I am preoccupied with it all and what’s to come.
I realize we have no control over what the future holds, we only have today, the moment. But in times like this, I seem to allow the moment to be robbed by worry and anxiety.
I know this is something I personally struggle with.
When something is good, I don’t want it to change. I want it to stay the same forever.
There are some that say change is good. I wish I had that perspective. I would get up every morning embracing the day without fear or reservation.
Unfortunately, that’s not how I get up every day. I get up to a torrent of worry. This is my reality, my personal nightmare. With so much change and upheavel, it’s really challenging me in ways I didn’t think possible.
Perhaps in the end, it will all be for the best. Hopefully this upheaval of change will stretch my character and hopefully, my faith. Only time will tell.
How do you handle changes or saying goodbye? Is this something you struggle with too?
Guest Post: The Power Of Prayer by Marcela De Vivo
Image Courtesy of Pixabay
Nothing can really compare to the excitement and happiness one feels when they first find out that they’re pregnant with their first child. I must have been the happiest mother-to-be when I was blessed with the news that I was going to have my first son, Nathan, but nothing could have prepared me for the journey ahead. I was devastated when my doctor told me that my son was not developing properly; he had a condition known as holoprosencephaly, in which his forebrain was not dividing to form bilateral cerebral hemispheres.
Because most children with this condition do not usually survive birth, you can imagine how devastated I was; however, despite what the doctors and specialists told me, Nathan did survive, and he is now seven years old and he must be one of the happiest children in the world.
While I’m incredibly grateful—more words can describe—that Nathan is still with me today, his path has been quite rocky, having undergone numerous surgeries and medical treatments to keep him as healthy as possible. During one of his most recent surgeries, he was given the wrong medication and because of it, we almost lost him.
Turning to Prayer
As you can imagine, it was an incredibly difficult experience to see Nathan in a catatonic state, not responding to me at all. What made it even worse was that it seemed the doctors and nurses surrounding Nathan weren’t paying any attention to him at all either, since nothing they had done so far had helped.
Not knowing what to do for my son while sitting in a hospital room, I turned to prayer and asked everyone in my online community to pray for Nathan’s recovery. While most do not rely on Facebook as the optimal prayer forum, I felt completely powerless and didn’t know how I could help Nathan in any other way; I reached out to friends, family and even strangers for support.
What was really surprising was that in just a matter of minutes after posting my prayer, the doctors and nurses who had previously been doing what seemed like nothing, were back to work, and at what seemed like a feverish pace. All of a sudden, all of the people that should have been working to find a solution for Nathan were doing exactly that.
Nathan’s Recovery
Right after I posted my wish for people to pray for Nathan, doctors started running blood tests and actively tried to figure out a solution to how to get Nathan back to health. At first, I didn’t necessarily relate it to the Facebook post I made just moments before.
However, when I think back on it now, I see that the power of prayer – simply asking people to pray for my son – made a huge difference in his recovery. Within what seemed like minutes, Nathan was awake and responding to stimulus in a way that surprised even the doctors and nurses (who I’m sure have been in similar situations before).
How my son was given the wrong medication at a major hospital isn’t necessarily the important part of my story here – it’s how quickly Nathan recovered just moments after I simply asked for others to pray for my son’s well-being.
For many people, the power of prayer can be difficult to understand– even many of us who do pray on a regular basis. Most of the time, our prayers aren’t answered in such an immediate way.
While I do believe the doctors did everything they could to help Nathan, I think it was the prayers that ultimately motivated them to work – that made them become a force to help Nathan.
I know Nathan is a lucky child, and I know he’s relatively strong, but I really believe prayer is what saved him in this case. For me, this incident really was proof of the power of prayer.
Have you ever experienced a miracle such as this as a result of the power of prayer? Please share with me your experiences and continue to follow my journey by following www.PrayForNathan.org.
Marcela De Vivo is a freelance writer and proud mother. Her journey with her son has taught her life lessons that she would never trade for anything else in the world, and through the power of prayer, he continues to thrive and love life.
When You’ve Lost Your Groove
I swore up and down, I would blog more often when I committed to Jon Acuff’s Start Experiment. I took on the challenge and then lost my groove.
Courtesy of Creative Commons
Ugh! I hate when that happens, don’t you? You tell yourself you are going to do this or that, and then your enthusiasm dwindles down to nothing.
I can tell you what happened to me.
It’s called the perils of self-editing by thinking too much of you.
Yes, let me explain.
I would start by writing a blog post and then tell myself, oh no, my audience isn’t going to like this at all. Scratch that.
The next day, the same thing happens.
I convinced myself that the content wasn’t any good. What kind of person would I be if I allowed you to read something painstakingly awful?
I’m sorry, I couldn’t do that to you.
So… one day turned into two days, a week into two weeks and you get the picture.
No writing. No nada. Zilch.
Today I’m writing because like Stella, I want to get my groove back. Except in this case, it’s my writing groove.
So if this is awful, I’m sorry, but like Jeff Goins says, I have to practice [and fail] in front of an audience.
******
This concept reminds me of when I was in professional acting school.
We had to practice and rehearse our scenes in front of a live audience.
It was torture.
Every day we would get up in front of everyone and practice whatever assignment was given by the instructor.
I remember one acting teacher in particular who would stare at me with her big, laser beam eyes. As if her eyes were piercing into my soul. I felt exposed and naked. It made me nervous.
She scared me. But as painful as the process was, I learned the most from this teacher.
I learned that by risking and getting critiqued, I was growing in my craft. I despised the process, but my art wound up better for it.
The same applies to writing. We have to take the risk and put ourselves out there. This is the only way we’ll learn and grow as writers. There is no other way.
Have you lost your groove? If so, what do you do to get your groove back?
Never Say Never by Victoria Christopher Murray
Paperback: 400 pages
Publisher: Touchstone; Original edition (June 4, 2013)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1451695772
ISBN-13: 978-1451695779
Price: $15.00
Purchase: Amazon | BN
Description
In this emotionally charged and inspiring novel about a love triangle, secrets between best friends threaten to blow up friendships and a marriage and change lives forever.
When Miriam’s fireman husband, Chauncey, dies while rescuing students from a school fire, Miriam feels like her life is over. How is she going to raise her three children all by herself? How will she survive without the love of her life? Luckily, Miriam’s sister-friend Emily and Emily’s husband, Jamal, are there to comfort her. Jamal and Chauncey grew up together and were best friends; Jamal and Emily know they will do all they can to support Miriam through her grief.
Jamal steps in and helps Miriam with the funeral arrangements and with her children, plus he gives her hope that she has a future. But all the time that they spend together—grieving, sharing, and reminiscing—brings the two closer in ways they never planned. . . .
Review
There is one word to describe Never Say Never, scandalous.
Victoria Christopher Murray does it again by this cleverly written novel.
Never Say Never is heart wrenching on many levels. I had trouble reading this book because it was so realistic and emotionally challenging.
Victoria Christopher Murray is a masterful writer and storyteller, she lures you in at page one.
I do not want to get into the specifics of Never Say Never, because I do not want to spoil it for you.
But if you want to go on the ride of your life, I highly recommend reading Never Say Never. You won’t be able to put this book down.
Personal Disclaimer: For mature audiences only.
Victoria Christopher Murray is the author of ten Essence bestselling novels, including Too Little, Too Late and Lady Jasmine. Her most recent novel, Destiny’s Divas, was nominated for an NAACP Image Award for Outstanding Literary Work (Fiction). Winner of the African American Literary Award for Fiction and Author of the Year, she splits her name between Los Angeles and Washington, D.C.
The In-Between by Jeff Goins
Paperback: 176 pages
Publisher: Moody Publishers; New Edition edition (July 23, 2013)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0802407242
ISBN-13: 978-0802407245
Price: $13.99
Purchase: Amazon | BN | CBD
Description
We’re an “instant gratification” generation, but the trouble is, most change happens gradually.
Most of us spend our lives searching and longing for something more than what is in front of us. Whether it’s traveling abroad or chasing cheap (or expensive) thrills, we’re all looking for medicine to satisfy our restlessness. And, so often, we’re looking in the wrong place.
The In-Between is a call to accept the importance that waiting plays in our lives. Can we embrace the extraordinary nature of the ordinary and enjoy the daily mundane-what lies in between the “major” moments?
Moments of breakthrough are not where life’s greatest transformation happens; the stuff that God uses to shape us often lies in the in-between. It’s the bus stops and layovers and DMV lines and moments of unintentional pause that force us to become better people.
That’s not to say there aren’t moments of epiphany. There are. It’s just that most of us find ourselves living somewhere in the in-between. Learning to live in this tension, to be content in these moments of waiting, may be our greatest struggle-and our greatest opportunity to grow.
Review
As promised, here is my review for the amazing book, The In-Between by the talented and prolific writer, Jeff Goins.
Can I keep it real with you? This guy just rocks it, from his outstanding blog, to his TribeWriter’s course, to his amazing books and more. I just can’t get enough of his writing.
Jeff Goins writing is like eating my favorite ice cream. It’s delicious.
His book, The In-Between was timely for me. The premise of chasing after the next big thing resonates with me. I struggle with restlessness. I’m always on the move, waiting for the next big thing to happen in my life. Something that will make me feel alive and take my breath away.
Reading The In-Between really made me think about my life. Here I am chasing after stuff and I’m missing all that is happening in the moment.
I don’t know about you, but waiting is not my forte. My husband will tell you, I’m always busy and in a hurry. I have no patience when it comes to waiting or being still. Honestly, I have no patience at all.
I’m always on the go, running around and never stopping. According to what I read and learned in The In-Between, I’m losing out on valuable moments in the here and now. Moments I’ll never get back.
The stories Jeff Goins intimately shares in The In-Between is beautiful, emotional and romantic. I know, I never use that word, romantic. This book really touched me in more ways than one.
I also got to learn more about Jeff Goins in this book which is a real treat. He has a lot of depth and wisdom. I appreciated him before, but after reading The In-Between, I appreciate him even more now.
Honestly, I can continue giving accolades, but I would rather you read and experience The In-Between for yourself.
I absolutely love this book and highly recommend it.
Five Things I Wouldn’t Do If I Was Twenty Again
I have this thing with age. This hang-up with the reality that I am pushing fifty and my life really didn’t amount to much.
Courtesy of Creative Commons – Matt Bilton
I’m not saying I don’t appreciate the life God has blessed me with.
What I am saying is I pretty much wasted precious years of my life on stuff that really didn’t matter.
Here are five things I wouldn’t do if I was twenty again:
1) I wouldn’t have wasted my time with boyfriends.
Since I was a teenager, I was boy crazy. I always needed to have a guy by my side. Even if they were absolute jerks and yes, I’m being kind.
2) I wouldn’t have allowed fear, insecurity or other people from stopping me in pursuing my dream.
My father grew up in poverty, so he basically brainwashed me into having a job and earning money.
I remember when I was in professional acting school and pursuing my dream as an actress and singer, my father told me to stop playing and get a real job. He said acting and singing weren’t going to pay the bills.
So, instead of pursuing my dream, I stopped and got a part time job as a receptionist in corporate America.
3) I wouldn’t have lived someone else’s dream.
My father’s dream was for me to take over his restaurant. Well, that’s what he said, but that’s not what he meant. He would use “taking over his business” as leverage to manipulate me. He had no interest in giving up his little kingdom for my sake.
4) I wouldn’t have dropped out of college.
One of my biggest regrets ever.
Instead of focusing on finishing college, I dropped out and eloped with my ex-husband at the age of nineteen.
Ladies, no guy is worth giving up a college education and basically, your future.
5) I wouldn’t have been concerned about what people thought of me.
Unfortunately, this is something I still struggle with today. I wish I could say I’m at a better place. But I’m not.
I do see the futility in obsessing over what people say or think about me. I mean, why does someone else’s opinion of me have to matter so much? I don’t know. But, it’s completely annoying. I really don’t want to care about what other people say or think of me.
This was an obstacle in my earlier years and continues to be today.
I think about what I would do differently if I wasn’t so concerned about what other people thought of me.
I probably would take more risks.
I would try new things and do what I believed in, even at the risk of what others thought about it.
When you live a life focused on what other people think of you, you’re not really living.
You are trapped in a prison of people’s opinions. You forfeit who you are and your one short life on what other people think or say. What a robbery.
It’s not worth it.
Do you struggle with any of these five things? If so, which one?
Does Anyone Else Want To Overcome Fear?
I don’t know what I was thinking when I accepted Jon Acuff’s Start challenge a couple of weeks ago. Perhaps I was delusional.
He invited over 2,000 people to participate and over 200 accepted. I was one of them.
Each morning I get an inspirational email from Jon Acuff. I start my day off on the right foot, only to wind up with fear… in my face.
Courtesy of PATRICK BOEHNER – Creative Commons
Fear is relentless.
It tells me I’m no good. It tells me I am not a writer. It tells me to give up.
Jon Acuff tells me to punch fear in the face.
So, fear and I start going at it first thing in the morning. I wind up losing time and time again.
Fear harasses me when I wake up then bullies me all day long.
Forget about when I want to write… fear hurls its ugly insults at me.
Fear is a bully.
Friends, I can’t seem to beat fear. I keep trying to confront this bully, but fear keeps winning every time.
I’m inflated one moment then deflated the next.
I honestly wish I can overcome fear and win for once, instead of allowing it to overpower my life.
Ironically, the minute I committed to the Start challenge, my whole world turned upside down.
I don’t want to bore you with the details, but when I tell you this year has been full of changes, it’s an understatement.
They say change is good, but too many changes at one time is not. At least, not for me.
Fear is a torment, it stops my dreams and prevents me from doing anything worthwhile in my life.
Does anyone else want to overcome fear besides me?
Wrestling With The In-Between
I am reading this book which is really provoking me. I’m sure you all heard me speak of Jeff Goins. Well, I am reading an advanced copy of his new book called, The In-Between, which is coming out on August 1st.
I just started reading it and can’t put it down. I absolutely love the way Jeff Goins writes. He is never boring. He also exudes wisdom in his writing. He’s an old soul. I also find myself relating to much of what he writes. I’m not going to give it all away because I want you to read and experience it for yourself. I will also be posting a review when I am done.
He is really making me think. The kind of deep, looking at yourself kind of thinking. I find myself stopping, remembering, and making connections in my own life. This is the reason why I follow his blog because not only is it good writing, but he really makes you think and gives you meat to chew on. I aspire to write like him.
I know, I know, I am not really comparing myself to him although I can’t help but admit I truly wish I can write like he does. But then, I wouldn’t be myself, right?
I go through a liturgy within myself of all the reasons why no one would like my writing. Why would anyone bother reading what I write? There are people like Jeff Goins, Chris Brogan, Seth Godin, Steven Pressfield, and Andi Cumbo. I mean, who in the world wants to read what I have to say?
Which is why I totally feel dejected and rejected when someone unfollows or unfriends me. I get repulsed with myself in the sense that I’m being totally self-absorbed and pathetic.
Why do I want to matter so much? Why do I want everyone in the world to like and accept me? What is this thing inside of me that wants me to be like everyone else instead of being myself, being happy with myself and that being good enough?
I mean, for goodness sake, I’m going to be 47 years old. You would think I would grow up already and display some sort of maturity here? I feel like I’m still stuck in high school, trying to be accepted by my peers. To be in the “in” group and part of the cool clique. I believe this may even be called narcissism.
I wrestle within myself; one part of me says, Who cares what people think about you, your writing, or what you have to say? The next minute I’m licking my wounds from someone unfollowing me because they didn’t like what I had to say.
Jeff Goins says, You don’t write for other people; you write for yourself. You don’t write for accolades; you write because you have to. You see? He’s so smart.
In his book, The In-Between, he discusses writing as a calling. I’m trying to figure out if writing is my calling or not. With so many talented writers out there, where do I fit in?
I don’t have the answer, but despite the resistance to write and publish, I will continue… as hard as it is for me… I will try to be brave and courageous as those I mentioned above and not give up.
What about you? Do you go through this as a writer? How do you battle the resistance and the incessant negative voices?
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